Ok, since some people might be curious I am going to attempt to give you some information about me.
Now these are topics I usually try to avoid.
Really.
At SCC I get asked these all the time and I usually don't comment or try to avoid it.
I know a lot of girls are not as fortunate as I am. I also am very modest about myself.
So here is a rough idea of what I look like.
Without heels I stand 5'8" and one half.
I weight 140lbs currently (don't get all jealous at one point in my life I was up to 190lbs.)
Prior to starting hormones my measurements were 35-29-39 (bust-waist-hips) I have always had those, granted the waist has fluctuated a bit. See above.
I'll post the update on those when I reach the one year mark (May 2010). As I said I don't obsess over myself so I haven't remeasured yet.
I have small wrists, hands and feet. Yes, I wear an 8.5 woman's shoe, typically.
However I still have shoulders that while not bulky are wider then usual, I have a straighter rib cage.
As for my face I have a little bit of everything, an angled jaw(which I would like to keep. Think Mini Driver, Gwyneth Paltrow) I do have a squarish chin. Which will have to change a bit.
My nose is larger but not huge, again it will need some work.
MY biggest issue is my forehead and hairline. I have moderate brow and a bit of a bony forehead. When you place that up against the fact that I have a naturally high hairline well it just screams man.
I will say that what little hair loss I was starting to see is disappearing, Propecia and Estrogen has worked wonders. I just need to get it longer and alter the front hairline.
As I have mentioned to my therapist most of my issues are from the neck up.
Including what is in my head.
For example I was being self-effacing during a therapy session earlier this year, and my therapist who is female, stopped me and said: "You have no idea how much of an attractive woman you make do you?"
I was a little taken aback by this comment. I told her I was aware of some things that I was thankful for, but I do know there are thing about me that are not. Maybe I hide them well but I know they are there. So the answer was no.
And that is what I think it boils down too. I don't really care how good I look. I know I wasn't born a girl like I should have been. I know even with a transition I am going to have this past that isn't typical. I think maybe even though I can look good, I still see traces of him in the mirror, and that is what worries me, does the rest of the world see it too?
I guess this would be the reason I have still have concern over it and know that I will have to make some changes.
Now these are topics I usually try to avoid.
Really.
At SCC I get asked these all the time and I usually don't comment or try to avoid it.
I know a lot of girls are not as fortunate as I am. I also am very modest about myself.
So here is a rough idea of what I look like.
Without heels I stand 5'8" and one half.
I weight 140lbs currently (don't get all jealous at one point in my life I was up to 190lbs.)
Prior to starting hormones my measurements were 35-29-39 (bust-waist-hips) I have always had those, granted the waist has fluctuated a bit. See above.
I'll post the update on those when I reach the one year mark (May 2010). As I said I don't obsess over myself so I haven't remeasured yet.
I have small wrists, hands and feet. Yes, I wear an 8.5 woman's shoe, typically.
However I still have shoulders that while not bulky are wider then usual, I have a straighter rib cage.
As for my face I have a little bit of everything, an angled jaw(which I would like to keep. Think Mini Driver, Gwyneth Paltrow) I do have a squarish chin. Which will have to change a bit.
My nose is larger but not huge, again it will need some work.
MY biggest issue is my forehead and hairline. I have moderate brow and a bit of a bony forehead. When you place that up against the fact that I have a naturally high hairline well it just screams man.
I will say that what little hair loss I was starting to see is disappearing, Propecia and Estrogen has worked wonders. I just need to get it longer and alter the front hairline.
As I have mentioned to my therapist most of my issues are from the neck up.
Including what is in my head.
For example I was being self-effacing during a therapy session earlier this year, and my therapist who is female, stopped me and said: "You have no idea how much of an attractive woman you make do you?"
I was a little taken aback by this comment. I told her I was aware of some things that I was thankful for, but I do know there are thing about me that are not. Maybe I hide them well but I know they are there. So the answer was no.
And that is what I think it boils down too. I don't really care how good I look. I know I wasn't born a girl like I should have been. I know even with a transition I am going to have this past that isn't typical. I think maybe even though I can look good, I still see traces of him in the mirror, and that is what worries me, does the rest of the world see it too?
I guess this would be the reason I have still have concern over it and know that I will have to make some changes.
1 comments:
Which is why I don't generally like to talk about it. Trust me I still suffered from some of the effects of Testosterone. But everything I have mention there is bases on Pre HRT. I lost the weight on my own, my figure as I mentioned was the one I hide under baggy clothes. If you read my previous posts you'll understand I did everything to hide the woman I was.
Only now are things changing the way I always wanted them to. *sigh*
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