Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The 411

Ok, since some people might be curious I am going to attempt to give you some information about me.

Now these are topics I usually try to avoid.


At SCC I get asked these all the time and I usually don't comment or try to avoid it.

I know a lot of girls are not as fortunate as I am. I also am very modest about myself.

So here is a rough idea of what I look like.

Without heels I stand 5'8" and one half.

I weight 140lbs currently (don't get all jealous at one point in my life I was up to 190lbs.)

Prior to starting hormones my measurements were 35-29-39 (bust-waist-hips) I have always had those, granted the waist has fluctuated a bit. See above.

I'll post the update on those when I reach the one year mark (May 2010). As I said I don't obsess over myself so I haven't remeasured yet.

I have small wrists, hands and feet. Yes, I wear an 8.5 woman's shoe, typically.

However I still have shoulders that while not bulky are wider then usual, I have a straighter rib cage.

As for my face I have a little bit of everything, an angled jaw(which I would like to keep. Think Mini Driver, Gwyneth Paltrow) I do have a squarish chin. Which will have to change a bit.

My nose is larger but not huge, again it will need some work.

MY biggest issue is my forehead and hairline. I have moderate brow and a bit of a bony forehead. When you place that up against the fact that I have a naturally high hairline well it just screams man.

I will say that what little hair loss I was starting to see is disappearing, Propecia and Estrogen has worked wonders. I just need to get it longer and alter the front hairline.

As I have mentioned to my therapist most of my issues are from the neck up.

Including what is in my head.

For example I was being self-effacing during a therapy session earlier this year, and my therapist who is female, stopped me and said: "You have no idea how much of an attractive woman you make do you?"

I was a little taken aback by this comment. I told her I was aware of some things that I was thankful for, but I do know there are thing about me that are not. Maybe I hide them well but I know they are there. So the answer was no.

And that is what I think it boils down too. I don't really care how good I look. I know I wasn't born a girl like I should have been. I know even with a transition I am going to have this past that isn't typical. I think maybe even though I can look good, I still see traces of him in the mirror, and that is what worries me, does the rest of the world see it too?

I guess this would be the reason I have still have concern over it and know that I will have to make some changes.


Jessica Lyn said...

Geez... I don't even want to begin to tell you about me :(

Don't get jealous? How about envious? (Of course I haven't started hormones or therapy yet.)

Kelli Bennett said...

Which is why I don't generally like to talk about it. Trust me I still suffered from some of the effects of Testosterone. But everything I have mention there is bases on Pre HRT. I lost the weight on my own, my figure as I mentioned was the one I hide under baggy clothes. If you read my previous posts you'll understand I did everything to hide the woman I was.

Only now are things changing the way I always wanted them to. *sigh*