Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Fantastic Four

I cannot take full credit for these. I am blatantly stealing them from another blog. Her journey was an amazing one to read, struck quite close to home for a number of reasons. (I think we both didn't hate our gender as it was, but more felt something was out of place.) It is a shame that in recent months her voice has grown quite. Still I wish her the best and hope all is well with her.

However I will give them my own spin since when considering these options some of my variables are different.

I just liked the way these were laid out and I also feel that really they are the only choices I have.

So with out further ado here they are.

Option 1:
Transition or at least start more of the process while preparing myself for the so called real life test. With the intent that I will eventually transition fully. Including a sex change.

Option 2:
Continue pretty much as I am living mostly as a man but using various coping methods, which would include some hormones and cross gendered adventures.

Option 3:
Try once again to place all my anxieties into the background. Suppress my nature and attempt to live the rest of my life as a man. At least with the hope that having the knowledge of what my problem is I can deal with it better.

Option 4:
Death. Ending it all. Stopping the agony.

Now really I am glossing over these to give you the ground work for what I am thinking. What I am working through and where I might be headed.

Granted I will state for those reading this that although some of the options might look scary I am simply taking them into account. I would say that sometimes you need to see the worse case scenario to gain some perspective. Nor do I want to take any of this lightly.

Remember these are the options, they all have their pros and cons. Some are extreme some are not. But they are indeed all valid options.

I need to take all into consideration while I work through this.

Keep an eye out I intend to review all of these in depth, one at a time, in the very near future.

Monday, May 11, 2009

About Face

Ok, so as you know I had some IPL (Intense Pulse Light) treatments on my face to remove my facial hair.

(I say IPL since there is apparently a deference between it and actual Laser. But I am not an expert.)

Well it did remove a fair portion of my facial hair. But I had a bad reaction to it with the treatments.

I don't know if I put something on my face I shouldn't have or my skin just didn't like the treatment. Needless to say it was bad. Really bad. I had a terrible acne out break. Something I almost never had (or mild if I had any at all) as a teenager. But my goodness it was awful.

The good news is that it has gotten much better, along with clearing up.

I do see the dermatologist next week just to follow up. I also intend on asking them for any recommendations on where to get it done.

The Salon is one thing, but for this I learned the hard way that I want a professional location next time. So I have a point of contact should things go wrong again. Add in the fact that I don't think I want to use IPL again.

Really it was so bad I was very afraid I had done permanent damage to my skin. I really had to try hard not to loose it, I was so upset over it. And it wasn't that it hurt, but it looked terrible, I was afraid to go out.

The good news is there is a significant reduction on my facial hair. It isn't all gone, but then I knew it would take a few treatments. But I do see and feel that at least 50% of it is gone.

And yes I know I owe my thoughts about the Four.