Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Be Spooky!

Happy Halloween!!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Full Circle

It is always interesting to return to places or people who know you from before.

Which happened to me recently when I had to see my General Practitioner for my annual physical.

I mentioned him way back here when I first had to come out to him and wanted to keep him as my GP.

Each year since he had always asked when I was going full time. During my last visit I told him it was to be the beginning of this year.

Now since I had not seen him since, I haven't had any illness or malady significant enough to warrant a visit, I did not return until my annual physical came around again.

When I called for the appointment I gave my old name, let her know it changed and the clerk was super understanding about it all and told me just to have everything when I arrived.

The day came, I signed in, and stood there with everything. She realized who I was, grabbed all my info and said "Have a seat Kelli, I'll get all your info updated and have you check it."

No issues there. I sat back down after that was done and in about five or ten minutes got called into the back.

I make early appointments for them so I usually have a short wait.

Only I had no idea how short that was to be.

I walked back with the nurse, she took my blood pressure, had me step on the scale(After I removed my boots of course. I had my jeans tucked into them that day), asked me a few standard questions and told me the doctor would be with me shortly.

She said this as I started to put my boots back on. I heard the door click shut as I put my second one on. When I heard it click open again, before I even had finished zipping back up.

Now normally I have about a ten or fifteen minute wait to actually see the doctor when I am at his office. Sometimes longer but not often. This is one reason I like them, they keep things moving and run a pretty efficient operation.

Yet I was stunned to see my doctor already entering the room not thirty seconds after the nurse left.

"Well that was fast!" I noted.

"HAHA well the office was buzzing when you got here and they were telling me you looked amazing. I could not wait to see for myself."

"Really? And?"

"Yeah and wow do you look great! Honestly I had no idea where you were going to end up but you really do look good."

"Thanks Doc!"

With that we got into the standard stuff about how I was feeling. If I had any issues to report. He also asked if I was still seeing my last Endo for HRT. If there was anything else I had done in addition to the surgeries he knew about(which was just the BA and the hair transplants). We talked about my GRS surgery and I gave him a copy of the forms my surgeon had me fill out so she can speak to him if need be. I mean he will be doing my pre-surgery workup and physical when the time comes.

Once we has covered that and got through the basic physical we were wrapping up. He turned to me and asked how I was doing.

"I am really good."

"Are you happy?"

"Very much so, loving life right now."

"Good I am glad. You look happy. I don't ever think I have seen you this comfortable and I don't blame you for being happy. You have every reason to be. Wow I am still shocked at how good you look!"

"Thanks again!"

With that we wrapped up his part of the appointment. All I had to do was wait to have my blood drawn and off I went.

It still boggles my mind that I am here and I am getting the positive reactions I am. Really, transition is such a misunderstood idea. Of which, most have the wrong one. Knowing that really feeds into your fear of what it will be like on the other side.

Just recalling the day I told him and how worried I was and here I am now with his full support and glowing comments.

Live has truly come full circle.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Comfort Zone


Is this thing on?


I do hope someone is out there listening. I know it has been a while since I posted anything.

Life has really gotten in the way.

The worst part there are stories to tell and things to say. Well, at least stories I want to tell and things I want to say.

Sadly I simply haven't had the time. My days are filled with things. So much so that at the end of the day all I really have time for is readying myself for work the following day(I get in early so I try to have breakfast, lunch and clothes prepared for the morning), then getting to bed. Not to mention the weekends....wait...I have free time on the weekends?!?!

Often I want to sit and write but I unable to keep my eyes open.

Crazy when you think about how much I used to post. Mostly because life was keeping me at home and not doing much. I really didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I think the writing kept me from utterly losing my mind. Now it is the complete opposite. I am currently so busy running to and fro trying to complete all my daily tasks, that by the end of the day there is just no time left to sit down and write.

Which has made me a little sad since I know there are people out there hoping to find some inspiration and perhaps not feel so alone in all this, that they look for Blogs like this in the hope of learning something more about themselves.

I know because I looked for them myself when long before I started my transition. I bonded with those stories and identified with the trials and tribulations they endured. It meant a lot to me yet I was always sad when they stopped posting regularly. Usually because life got so busy that they just didn't have times.

Which is an amazingly good thing but those of use still reading wanted to know more.

I promised myself I would try to post with some frequency after full time. Maybe not daily or weekly but far more than I what I have.

But I did not.

I had become the type of blogger I promised myself I would not be.


The only thing I can do is try to get these stories out. It might not be fast as I like but I do want to post them.

What has kept me so busy?

Well you already know I am dating and loving it. Really the relationship just keeps getting better and better. I am extremely happy with it. I have no intention of taking any big steps right now, but I like the promise it holds.

Only time will tell.

Still he has kept me happily busy. Two road trip weekends with another coming in a few weeks. I have met a large number of his family. With more in the future I am sure. Not to mention I have cooked for many of them.

I have gotten a chance to go shopping with his mom. Girls day out during the summer. Had a blast and she bugs me often to spend more time with me.

Life has been so amazingly...normal. I often have to sit back and take it all in otherwise it seems completely surreal.

I mentioned road trips with the BF. Well one of them was a return to this event.

I was not sure how it would go but when I posted to the forum for the event explaining there was a personal issue that might exclude me and to send me a private message to explain it.

To a person all of them that responded were shocked but at the same time so fully supportive that many of them said that if there was an issue with ANYBODY they would make sure it got handled. They wanted me to come out, cook, have fun and enjoy myself without having to worry about anything.

How did it turn out?

One word amazing. I enjoyed the whole process, everyone was extremely welcoming and happy to see me. I had about half the attendees approach me to tell me how great I looked and how happy I seemed. That and everyone was happy to see me back cooking again. So much so I got a cheesy distinguished person award for the effort I put in so that they can enjoy the food. Plus it was a sign of appreciation of how much I was missed when I wasn't there.

Honestly as big a production it is, I love doing it and seeing everyone happy.

I also finally got to meet the owners of the site who were meeting me for the first time ever. They actually thought my BF was the technology geek, not me. I shocked them when I stated it was me and what I did for a living.

I could see it on their face: "But you are a girl!" Honestly I don't think they were ever told. I know I did not say anything. The coolest part. Those three are from Kansas city and they LOVED my ribs. Different from what they are used to but to quote the site owner. "The prestigious Cup, given to "the most worthy," was fittingly awarded to Kelli, our rib chef. Those ribs are magical, world-class BBQ. I'm going to have to steal the recipe."


Oh and yes I will be returning next year again.

Great day and fun night we got to stay for the fireworks for a change!!! yay!!


Been amazing and wonderful. So many of my teammates are huge supporters. Life at work is pretty normal just crazy busy with projects. The few slips were all earlier this year and really nothing blatant or even to report since. All the women are amazing and a couple of them want to know where I shop since they love how well put together I am.

Our facilities manager (who sits at the front desk with security) often tells me how jealous she is and tells me often, "Girl do not worry I wish I had a body like yours. Seriously you look amazing."

It isn't all about looks, I know, there is so much more to the person than how one looks. Yet I know it does not hurt to have a few advantages in your favor.


Sadly I haven't seen him too much since earlier this year he got switched to afternoons at work which has split us up a little. Not to mention he has had some extremely personal issues that have taken up some of his spare times as he has dealt with them.

Though we have gotten together a few times when the stars have aligned and we were able to be in the same place at the same time. :D He marvels more and more at how comfortable I have gotten with myself. Not to mention meeting his new friend L(cis girl) total hoot who promptly said to B after meeting me. "Holy Shit she is pretty!!! How did you met her again?!"

Yes, she did indeed state that to B as if I was not standing right there. I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little.

And no B has only ever told her I am his friend Kelli, nothing more.

Had a lot of fun with those to out that night and I hope to see them again.

Oh I might have failed to mention the fact that I am on a co-ed bowling league!

For reals!!

The BF got invited because a guy he bowls with during the week wanted to bowl with his girlfriend and my significant other was the only person he knew who bowled and had a girlfriend to boot!

I wanted to but since I had not bowled in years I needed to see if I could even still do it and feel comfortable doing so.

[Background here, I came from a bowling family. Mom, Dad, Brother, we all bowled. I started league bowling after school at age 9 and continued through 16. After that I was just too busy to do it weekly but often went a few times a month with my dad for a long time. Not to mention a short lived summer league after graduation but honestly who wanted to be in a bowling alley when it was 85 and sunny out in June? Not us.]

With that the two of us tried a weekend of practice just to mess around and have fun. The good news was I had no issue adjusting with all the changes. Other than I have to use a lighter ball now. No way I can hurl a sixteen pounder any more(7.25 Kg for you metric types). I also discovered finger tape bowlers use for an smoother release from the ball. Me I use it to protect my fingernails I have to carefully groomed and maintain.

I have been three times already and I am having sooo much fun with everyone especially the other girls I have bowled with. Mostly because we all end up picking on the boys. :D

Especially when we out bowl them.

Everything is just settling. I have had little to no issues with existing in the world. I find myself often reveling and enjoying being myself and the person I always wanted to be. My sense of style is growing and I love that I can actually enjoy that part. I have discovered so many new and fun things.

Was transition easy? No. Was it worth it? For me it was a resounding yes.

To quote the famous motto: