Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Comfort Zone


Is this thing on?


I do hope someone is out there listening. I know it has been a while since I posted anything.

Life has really gotten in the way.

The worst part there are stories to tell and things to say. Well, at least stories I want to tell and things I want to say.

Sadly I simply haven't had the time. My days are filled with things. So much so that at the end of the day all I really have time for is readying myself for work the following day(I get in early so I try to have breakfast, lunch and clothes prepared for the morning), then getting to bed. Not to mention the weekends....wait...I have free time on the weekends?!?!

Often I want to sit and write but I unable to keep my eyes open.

Crazy when you think about how much I used to post. Mostly because life was keeping me at home and not doing much. I really didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I think the writing kept me from utterly losing my mind. Now it is the complete opposite. I am currently so busy running to and fro trying to complete all my daily tasks, that by the end of the day there is just no time left to sit down and write.

Which has made me a little sad since I know there are people out there hoping to find some inspiration and perhaps not feel so alone in all this, that they look for Blogs like this in the hope of learning something more about themselves.

I know because I looked for them myself when long before I started my transition. I bonded with those stories and identified with the trials and tribulations they endured. It meant a lot to me yet I was always sad when they stopped posting regularly. Usually because life got so busy that they just didn't have times.

Which is an amazingly good thing but those of use still reading wanted to know more.

I promised myself I would try to post with some frequency after full time. Maybe not daily or weekly but far more than I what I have.

But I did not.

I had become the type of blogger I promised myself I would not be.


The only thing I can do is try to get these stories out. It might not be fast as I like but I do want to post them.

What has kept me so busy?

Well you already know I am dating and loving it. Really the relationship just keeps getting better and better. I am extremely happy with it. I have no intention of taking any big steps right now, but I like the promise it holds.

Only time will tell.

Still he has kept me happily busy. Two road trip weekends with another coming in a few weeks. I have met a large number of his family. With more in the future I am sure. Not to mention I have cooked for many of them.

I have gotten a chance to go shopping with his mom. Girls day out during the summer. Had a blast and she bugs me often to spend more time with me.

Life has been so amazingly...normal. I often have to sit back and take it all in otherwise it seems completely surreal.

I mentioned road trips with the BF. Well one of them was a return to this event.

I was not sure how it would go but when I posted to the forum for the event explaining there was a personal issue that might exclude me and to send me a private message to explain it.

To a person all of them that responded were shocked but at the same time so fully supportive that many of them said that if there was an issue with ANYBODY they would make sure it got handled. They wanted me to come out, cook, have fun and enjoy myself without having to worry about anything.

How did it turn out?

One word amazing. I enjoyed the whole process, everyone was extremely welcoming and happy to see me. I had about half the attendees approach me to tell me how great I looked and how happy I seemed. That and everyone was happy to see me back cooking again. So much so I got a cheesy distinguished person award for the effort I put in so that they can enjoy the food. Plus it was a sign of appreciation of how much I was missed when I wasn't there.

Honestly as big a production it is, I love doing it and seeing everyone happy.

I also finally got to meet the owners of the site who were meeting me for the first time ever. They actually thought my BF was the technology geek, not me. I shocked them when I stated it was me and what I did for a living.

I could see it on their face: "But you are a girl!" Honestly I don't think they were ever told. I know I did not say anything. The coolest part. Those three are from Kansas city and they LOVED my ribs. Different from what they are used to but to quote the site owner. "The prestigious Cup, given to "the most worthy," was fittingly awarded to Kelli, our rib chef. Those ribs are magical, world-class BBQ. I'm going to have to steal the recipe."


Oh and yes I will be returning next year again.

Great day and fun night we got to stay for the fireworks for a change!!! yay!!


Been amazing and wonderful. So many of my teammates are huge supporters. Life at work is pretty normal just crazy busy with projects. The few slips were all earlier this year and really nothing blatant or even to report since. All the women are amazing and a couple of them want to know where I shop since they love how well put together I am.

Our facilities manager (who sits at the front desk with security) often tells me how jealous she is and tells me often, "Girl do not worry I wish I had a body like yours. Seriously you look amazing."

It isn't all about looks, I know, there is so much more to the person than how one looks. Yet I know it does not hurt to have a few advantages in your favor.


Sadly I haven't seen him too much since earlier this year he got switched to afternoons at work which has split us up a little. Not to mention he has had some extremely personal issues that have taken up some of his spare times as he has dealt with them.

Though we have gotten together a few times when the stars have aligned and we were able to be in the same place at the same time. :D He marvels more and more at how comfortable I have gotten with myself. Not to mention meeting his new friend L(cis girl) total hoot who promptly said to B after meeting me. "Holy Shit she is pretty!!! How did you met her again?!"

Yes, she did indeed state that to B as if I was not standing right there. I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little.

And no B has only ever told her I am his friend Kelli, nothing more.

Had a lot of fun with those to out that night and I hope to see them again.

Oh I might have failed to mention the fact that I am on a co-ed bowling league!

For reals!!

The BF got invited because a guy he bowls with during the week wanted to bowl with his girlfriend and my significant other was the only person he knew who bowled and had a girlfriend to boot!

I wanted to but since I had not bowled in years I needed to see if I could even still do it and feel comfortable doing so.

[Background here, I came from a bowling family. Mom, Dad, Brother, we all bowled. I started league bowling after school at age 9 and continued through 16. After that I was just too busy to do it weekly but often went a few times a month with my dad for a long time. Not to mention a short lived summer league after graduation but honestly who wanted to be in a bowling alley when it was 85 and sunny out in June? Not us.]

With that the two of us tried a weekend of practice just to mess around and have fun. The good news was I had no issue adjusting with all the changes. Other than I have to use a lighter ball now. No way I can hurl a sixteen pounder any more(7.25 Kg for you metric types). I also discovered finger tape bowlers use for an smoother release from the ball. Me I use it to protect my fingernails I have to carefully groomed and maintain.

I have been three times already and I am having sooo much fun with everyone especially the other girls I have bowled with. Mostly because we all end up picking on the boys. :D

Especially when we out bowl them.

Everything is just settling. I have had little to no issues with existing in the world. I find myself often reveling and enjoying being myself and the person I always wanted to be. My sense of style is growing and I love that I can actually enjoy that part. I have discovered so many new and fun things.

Was transition easy? No. Was it worth it? For me it was a resounding yes.

To quote the famous motto:


Becca said...

You might not post often but it's nice to hear how great life is for you on the other side. I for one might feel a connection with others who struggle to make the leap of faith but it's blogs like yours who show how great life can be that gives the hope of a happier future.

Lovely to hear from you and even better to hear about your BF's mum. How great is she !


Cassidy said...

Hey hon!

OK, first of all, about this bowling thing; anyone can fling some slab of polyurethane at teensy defenseless matchsticks - oh, excuse me, "pins" - and claim they're "bowling."

But what about *candlepin* bowling? Hmm?!? Now *that* actually requires skill! No comfy holes in the pint-sized ball to help your grip, no oversized pins to topple into one another... this is REAL bowling! And I say that as somehow who maintained a 100+ average! (OK, in sixth grade, but still...)

Teasing aside, candlepin bowling is lots of fun, even if it's really only popular in New England and the Canadian Maritimes. If you ever get the chance, do check it out.

Most important, it is so, so nice to hear from you, and even better to hear how happy you are! You totally deserve every bit of it; congratulations, sweetie!

Mega hugs,

Jessica Lyn said...

I ditto what Becca said.. We do come to read your blog to let us know we are not alone but it's also great to read about the ones that succeed in their transition and live as themselves.

Thanks for the update.. I am extremely happy for you and excited for your future! And don't worry, when you have time to post, we'll be here to read it.


Stace said...

Hey great to hear from you again.

I totally get what you mean by life getting in the way. I just realised that I had gone from at least once per week to once or twice per month.

Wonderful that life is going so well for you, long may it continue!

(Oh and 16lb! I could barely manage with a 12!)


Kelli Bennett said...

Thanks everyone. I have been working on my other posts so I hope to get them out soon.

@Cassidy, blah, blah, blah. My sport is harder than yours. Candlepin? Really? You New Englanders are weird.


@Stace, so very true about all of it. Oh and I probably should not have been using that 16lbs ball when I was younger but I was just determined too.

Cassidy said...


I think we are both giving ourselves *far* too much credit in claiming bowling of any sort qualifies as a sport! lol

Then again, my attempts at other sports usually end up in the emergency room, so perhaps I need to expand my horizons to consider something that will let me take my orthopedic surgeon off my speed dial list... :c)