Sunday, June 23, 2013

The One I Will Not Tell My Kids

Recently there was another event with the Irish drinking band that one of my older groups of friends follows around. This would include Rogue, Professor and Scholar.

This is the same band and venue were I had to explain to Rogue who I was.

This one was special since it marked the two year wedding anniversary of Rogue and his wife Pixie(she is anything but, though tiny it was the dress that she wore this night that I am using to create her nickname).

The hilarious part of this is the band that we were there to see played at their wedding too.

Even though they do not play weddings.


Rogue side stepped them and rented out the entire restaurant for the event, helps know the owner, on a night the band was going to be there.

There was nothing they could do but play their wedding.

In fairness they only asked the band to play their normal set and had a friend who was a part time wedding DJ handle some in between music and some of the wedding things that had to be announced and what not.

Most everyone there wanted to see this band anyway and since the band does not start until nine it allowed for the wedding stuff to largely be taken care off beforehand and left the party goers to fully enjoy the band. Which was all they really wanted.

But that was two years ago and I was sadly not there.

Thus being invited to see them again, this was now my third trip and flying solo that weekend, of course I went.

How did it turn out?

Well I like to sum it up like this.

Pixie, myself and several other ladies ended up doing five shots together before the night was out. I got groped twice at the bar, by the same drunk guy. Got stared at by five women all at the same time all thinking the same thing. "What are you crazy?!" Got hit on by Pixie's widowed Father(who is old enough to by my dad). Left with the lead singers number from the band and did not sleep in my own bed that night.

LOL! Just another quiet night in the life of your hostess.

Also I would like to point out right now that there was NOT a walk of shame the next morning.

Get your minds out of the gutter!!!

Makes you think though doesn't it?  :D

Now I will give you the rest of the story.

Now the five shots should be self explanatory. Granted I don't usually drink much anymore, mostly due to risk of migraines, I still can handle my liquor fairly wll and we were pacing ourselves fairly decently. Plus the bartender was making up what she thought was a kamikaze but we did not care. Whatever they were was mighty tasty.

Pixie had come up to me and asked me if I wanted to do a shot with her. As it was her anniversary and one shot was not really going to bug me. I thought why not.

Famous last words.

While at the bar two rather drunk men decided to try and flirt with us. Needless to say we were not very impressed. After they challenged us to do a more "manly" shot. Our retort was we would do whatever shot they wanted, as long as they were buying.

That ended that conversation rather quickly. Though there were a few sparse comments that we choose to ignore.

We got started and were joined by Mother Hen(I am using that as a misnomer since she was the one largely responsible for the shot count going up) for another shot.

Also joining us was the Keyboardist in the band. He was actually getting a drink but since we had one end of the bar and he new more than a few people in the group he joined us briefly.

As our second shot came we did a little toast and had our drink.

It was about this time that Drunk guy #1 decided to return to the picture and walked past our merry little group and chat up the Keyboardist also.

This put him rather close to me.

We were waiting for two others to join us in what would be a third shot at that time. When Drunk Guy #1 turned away from the bar and pretended to stumble into me. Placing a hand on my butt.

I caught it as it happened and sidestepped it a little but he still made contact.

I kept moving and he wandered away.

Pixie looked at me since she witnessed the whole thing and asked me if I know I just got groped. I confirmed that I did but was just going to ignore it unless it happened again.

We moved back to our chairs briefly when a couple of other girls decided to join us and back to the bar we went for another round.

It was during this conversation that Pixie mentioned to Mother Hen and Smurfette(she had a super cute blue dress so that is what I am going with) about the story of me getting groped during our first trip to the bar.

Smurfette asked "Does this happen a lot?"

I replied "Guys try stuff all the time for some reason."

Pixie interjected "Well you are really pretty Kelli, I mean they are going to be attracted to you."

"Well I know I attract attention but I really don't think I am that pretty."

Now when I said this we had the Bartender(female), the Waitress(she knows the group really well), Mother Hen, Pixie, and Smurfette. I delivered that statement and I swear to you all five of them simultaneously turned to look at me as if I was out of my freaking mind.

They were truly dumbfounded that I had just said that.

"Kelli you are easily the prettiest girl in here." Pixie stated.

"Girl you cannot believe that, you really are." said The Bartender.

Smurfette turned to me "Wow we really are the last to see it aren't we? Kelli you are very pretty!"

I am sure The Waitress and Mother Hen said something too but I could not hear they as they were more in the background. Talk about shocking as these are all women stating this to me. Usually I hear it from men or gay men. Yet these women are all my peers and they are telling me this.

It is rather profound when you think about it.

Also, for the record, Pixie is the only one who knows about my function and still thinks I am an amazing and incredible person. She has already invited me to a girls only wine tasting event she is going to host.

At this point we did our third shot and headed back to our table. Not much else occurred except that Rogue and another gentleman purchased another round of shots for our table.

I played it safe by sticking with water and Coke for the rest of the night in an effort to remain sober and I figured I still had to drive home.

The band starts wrapping up there show and there is a big toast to the crowd with the crowd participating. We stand up holding out drinks(still soda for me) and say the chant along with the band.

It is during this that I see a hand with a glass appear over my shoulder. Since I was at the end of the table away from the band I could not think of another friend this might be.

It is then I feel a hand on my waist.

I twist to glance over my shoulder and whom do I see?

Drunk Guy #1 yet again.


WTF!!! Really?!?!

When he see me turn he backs up.

I am furious but as this happens the toast finishes and I am distracted by the end of the toast. A quick clink of glasses and I set my glass down.

Rogue(who was standing next to me a half step forward) catches the fact that I am really irked and asks me what is wrong. I explain that it is the drunk guy from earlier. (We filled him in on the story).

Now Rogue is the protective sort and we turn together to find him.

Only he is gone.

Now there is a large partition wall that separates the bar from the dinning/show area. We proceed around it.


Dart outside?


He and his friend are gone.

Oh well. Rogue at least was a total gentleman and one was not going to let some drunk fool upset a friend of his and two, and he can back it up.

We decided not to let it bug us but it is nice to know that someone has my back.

After this we girls head back to the part as we promised The Waitress and The Bartender a shot on us for being so good to us all night.

That and The Bartender wanted to sample what she had been making us since she had totally made it up on the spot.

While we were waiting the lead singer came up to talk to the group. Remember he knows quite a few of them rather well and also has Smurfette up on stage to join them for a song.

Once we have had our drink he walks over to me and introduces himself.


"Hi, my name is Bard I play with the band." (Obviously I am using the nickname of Bard as he is a musician with a great voice.)

"lol! I know I did watch the show."

"I have seen you here before recently, how long have you known this group?"

"Well some of them are new, but people like Rogue and Scholar I have known for a long time."

"Really? How come I have not seen you here before?"

"Oh they have been trying to get me to come for years, but previously I was in a relationship where I was not allow to do much when my ex decided he did not want to attend."

"Well I am glad you came. Actually I noticed you at a prior show and I did not see you at a show in between. I was worried we had scared you off?"

"Oh no! You guys are wonderful but there is simply no way I can make all the shows."

"Great I remember that show and thought "wow we must have been terrible that night" It was not one of our better shows that night."

"LOL!! Good show or bad show I would rather come see you guys than, say, go to work. You are a talented and fun group and you obviously enjoy yourselves doing it."

"Oh well thank you very much!"

"You are welcome!! Do mind if I ask you a questions?"

"Not at all go right ahead."

"At the end when you were giving your closing acknowledgments you mentioned a few former students here, what do you teach?" (He also gave a shout out to Rogue & Pixie for their anniversary.)

"Oh I teach Spanish and French at a local high school."

"Really I am going to Paris in September."

That statement sparked a ten minute conversation that prompted him to offer to share some of his travel info and even some study guides to improve my French. So he gave me his contact info with a promise to get together in the coming days.

Now relax, he is sixty and married but incredibly sweet and a pleasure to talk to. Which should make it interesting. Besides how does one expect to experience life if you do not take chances and meet new people.

Never the less that is how I came to get the lead singers phone number.

With everyone saying their goodbyes for the evening. Rogue comes up to me and asks if I am ok to drive home. I answer that I am but that I am probably pushing it and if I make a mistake I probably register over the limit. Now mind you I do not even have a buzz going. I just know it is still in my system and I cannot change that.

Rogue tells me he would rather I drive home with them and he will bring me back in the morning to get my car. Since it seems he is not driving either and leaving his car there too. Pixie's sister is driving us to his house.

"Besides a number of us are going there and plan on playing Cards Against Humanity."

"Oh I am so in!!"

With that we headed to Rogue and Pixie's house, played Cards Against Humanity until 3:30 am. It was at that point we all felt we had too much frivolity and laughter for the night.  Some  people went home and the rest of us found sleeping locations there at the house.

Now I bet you are wondering what happened to the part about Pixie's Dad.

Well I wasn't really paying too much attention at the dinning room table but I was sitting next to him. Upon waking up at seven AM(damn you internal alarm clock). I lingered in the bedroom I had been assigned until I hear someone moving about upstairs.

It turned out to be Pixie's Dad who was making coffee. He offered to get me a cup of tea and we sat and chatted while we waited for others to wake up so that we could head out for breakfast and retrieve the cars.

Now a little back story. Pixie's Dad was married for forty years, he became a widower last year when his wife sadly died.

I thought he was sweet and nice, but did not really think anything of it. I felt this way because here he was the father of three daughters the eldest of which graduated from the same HS as I did. One year prior to myself.

Think about that. He is old enough to be my father.


Just not gonna happen. I also did not realize until later that the reason he stayed that night rather than going home with the other daughter was because I was there. He also came to breakfast because I was there. It dawned on me that morning that the man was hitting on me rather than just being flirtatious.

I just did not make that connection because I just thought he was out enjoying spending time with his two daughters. I also did not talk to him much during the show the night before.

What made me realize it, was in direct comment about talking with me again over our morning cups of caffeine and again after breakfast. As I did join Pixie, Rogue  and their brood for noms.

Pixie, slyly apologized to me later in front of him, mentioning that her dad was just looking for company and was not interested in dating yet.

I half wonder if she figured it out around the same time I did.

Oh well, he is nice but I am simply not interested.

I bid my adieu and promised to get in touch with everyone after they returned from Ireland and I from Southern California next month.

That concludes the story of how I ended up not sleeping at home and was hit on by someone who would be old enough to be my father.

Crazy, crazy, crazy!!!

I can hold my head high and say I did not intentional go out and try to have a night like this. I simply wanted to have a good time with friends and the whole story happened really organically.

When my best friend Laura contacted me the following morning I gave her the same summary I gave you at the beginning part of this post. Needless to say it generated a big of shock and some hilarious laugher later. As I was not even at home yet when I responded to her.

It still is pretty surreal that my life his going as well as it is. I would have never foreseen having stories like this. Glad that I can laugh at them later.

Most importantly I am living life to the fullest and I do not think I can express in words how amazing I think that is.

Life has really taken off in the last seven or so months.

No one pinch me I might wake up.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Margaritaville: Legacy of the Lost Scrolls

As you know D(Racer's wife) and I made a date for dinner and drinks.

The text exchange was rather funny as she mentioned a good Mexican restaurant that had great margaritas and good food.

I responded back jokingly that she had me at margarita.

 We picked a time and a date for getting together.

So how was it?

Well I got there after work at 5:30.

After many a laugh, some pretty good food, numerous stories and four margaritas we finally decided we should be responsible adults and make our way home at eleven at night.

It was a school night after all.

It was just so much fun getting to know someone you already knew all over again.

From the moment I walked in it was we started chatting.

We talked about our respective days. Got caught up on some larger life stories that we both had mentioned to each other but did not have the time to go into details.

Book, movies, art, music were all discussed.

We poked fun at silly people and some of the less than stellar human beings we have worked for.

We even got into the topic of me a little(it was the first time she was able to ask me some more in depth questions).

"Let me just say Kelli you have completely blown me away with who you are. I am also stunned how good you look. I cannot believe you are the same person."

"lol, that big a difference huh? Let me guess you were expecting something else?"

"I would not say that I was just unsure of how it would work. I mean when I was finally able to get home and talk to Racer about you I asked "how does she look?" He just told me you looked incredible and amazing. Which is why I had to go to dinner with you shortly after. I was so bummed about not being able to meet with that night, but my mom needed help."

"And what do you think?"

"Holy cow girl!! You have simple amazed me. Not only with how you look but who you are. I had so much fun meeting you at dinner. Poker night was a blast and I just had to hang out with you again. Even your personality is different. I mean there are some of the same things there but you are more open and relaxed these days compared to that engineer I met so long ago. I am really glad for you and glad that you are finally happy."

"Thanks D it is not an easy road to get here and a lot of people think they know what the issue is or how it works. Really they do not."

"I don't doubt it one but you are doing it well. In fact you really caught the attention of everyone at poker. Particularly Tilt's."


"Oh my god yes! Quite a few people wanted to know how we knew you. Who you were, etc. But we went to dinner with Tilt about a week later and he was all about you, asking all that and if you were going to come back. He also thought you were a really good poker player. He could not stop taking about you."

"Oh dear it sounds like he has crushing on me a bit."

"lol I would agree. Now are you coming back?"

"Oh definitely, I enjoyed it. As my schedule allows I indeed to be there."

Which I have been since this night.

She even mentioned a conversation with her hairdresser when the topic of a trans person popped up in the salon when she was there during a session.

I am not recalling what caused another patron to mention it but D's hairdresser made a comment to her that a trans person can always be spotted.

D disagreed with her. When questioned about it. D replied "I know it is not true because I have a friend who does not look like anything other than a woman." Her hairstylist then started rattling off the common tells in a trans person. To which D shot down every single one of them regarding me. Finally stating:

"Look she is small, only and inch taller than I am. Does not have any distinguishing features nothing. She dresses respectable and well. Even when she is being super casual. There just isn't anything there. She has a wonderful voice. Heck it is better than mine. Her manners everything just fits. So no you cannot always tell."

She told me her hairdresser was a bit taken back but D went on to staunchly defend me. It just goes to show how un-informed people really are.

D stated that from the moment she met me that this just made total and perfect sense for me.

The rest of our talk was just pure fun and idle chatting. All together it was a great time and we enjoyed each others company so much we have done it since then and are even planning another now that she is back from a vacation.

After the string of friends and even family that had an issue with me. It is astounding me the number of people who knew and now have no issue with the new me.

It seems with every step I take forward these days the more life seems to finally be falling into place.

And I really like that place.