Sunday, June 23, 2013

The One I Will Not Tell My Kids

Recently there was another event with the Irish drinking band that one of my older groups of friends follows around. This would include Rogue, Professor and Scholar.

This is the same band and venue were I had to explain to Rogue who I was.

This one was special since it marked the two year wedding anniversary of Rogue and his wife Pixie(she is anything but, though tiny it was the dress that she wore this night that I am using to create her nickname).

The hilarious part of this is the band that we were there to see played at their wedding too.

Even though they do not play weddings.


Rogue side stepped them and rented out the entire restaurant for the event, helps know the owner, on a night the band was going to be there.

There was nothing they could do but play their wedding.

In fairness they only asked the band to play their normal set and had a friend who was a part time wedding DJ handle some in between music and some of the wedding things that had to be announced and what not.

Most everyone there wanted to see this band anyway and since the band does not start until nine it allowed for the wedding stuff to largely be taken care off beforehand and left the party goers to fully enjoy the band. Which was all they really wanted.

But that was two years ago and I was sadly not there.

Thus being invited to see them again, this was now my third trip and flying solo that weekend, of course I went.

How did it turn out?

Well I like to sum it up like this.

Pixie, myself and several other ladies ended up doing five shots together before the night was out. I got groped twice at the bar, by the same drunk guy. Got stared at by five women all at the same time all thinking the same thing. "What are you crazy?!" Got hit on by Pixie's widowed Father(who is old enough to by my dad). Left with the lead singers number from the band and did not sleep in my own bed that night.

LOL! Just another quiet night in the life of your hostess.

Also I would like to point out right now that there was NOT a walk of shame the next morning.

Get your minds out of the gutter!!!

Makes you think though doesn't it?  :D

Now I will give you the rest of the story.

Now the five shots should be self explanatory. Granted I don't usually drink much anymore, mostly due to risk of migraines, I still can handle my liquor fairly wll and we were pacing ourselves fairly decently. Plus the bartender was making up what she thought was a kamikaze but we did not care. Whatever they were was mighty tasty.

Pixie had come up to me and asked me if I wanted to do a shot with her. As it was her anniversary and one shot was not really going to bug me. I thought why not.

Famous last words.

While at the bar two rather drunk men decided to try and flirt with us. Needless to say we were not very impressed. After they challenged us to do a more "manly" shot. Our retort was we would do whatever shot they wanted, as long as they were buying.

That ended that conversation rather quickly. Though there were a few sparse comments that we choose to ignore.

We got started and were joined by Mother Hen(I am using that as a misnomer since she was the one largely responsible for the shot count going up) for another shot.

Also joining us was the Keyboardist in the band. He was actually getting a drink but since we had one end of the bar and he new more than a few people in the group he joined us briefly.

As our second shot came we did a little toast and had our drink.

It was about this time that Drunk guy #1 decided to return to the picture and walked past our merry little group and chat up the Keyboardist also.

This put him rather close to me.

We were waiting for two others to join us in what would be a third shot at that time. When Drunk Guy #1 turned away from the bar and pretended to stumble into me. Placing a hand on my butt.

I caught it as it happened and sidestepped it a little but he still made contact.

I kept moving and he wandered away.

Pixie looked at me since she witnessed the whole thing and asked me if I know I just got groped. I confirmed that I did but was just going to ignore it unless it happened again.

We moved back to our chairs briefly when a couple of other girls decided to join us and back to the bar we went for another round.

It was during this conversation that Pixie mentioned to Mother Hen and Smurfette(she had a super cute blue dress so that is what I am going with) about the story of me getting groped during our first trip to the bar.

Smurfette asked "Does this happen a lot?"

I replied "Guys try stuff all the time for some reason."

Pixie interjected "Well you are really pretty Kelli, I mean they are going to be attracted to you."

"Well I know I attract attention but I really don't think I am that pretty."

Now when I said this we had the Bartender(female), the Waitress(she knows the group really well), Mother Hen, Pixie, and Smurfette. I delivered that statement and I swear to you all five of them simultaneously turned to look at me as if I was out of my freaking mind.

They were truly dumbfounded that I had just said that.

"Kelli you are easily the prettiest girl in here." Pixie stated.

"Girl you cannot believe that, you really are." said The Bartender.

Smurfette turned to me "Wow we really are the last to see it aren't we? Kelli you are very pretty!"

I am sure The Waitress and Mother Hen said something too but I could not hear they as they were more in the background. Talk about shocking as these are all women stating this to me. Usually I hear it from men or gay men. Yet these women are all my peers and they are telling me this.

It is rather profound when you think about it.

Also, for the record, Pixie is the only one who knows about my function and still thinks I am an amazing and incredible person. She has already invited me to a girls only wine tasting event she is going to host.

At this point we did our third shot and headed back to our table. Not much else occurred except that Rogue and another gentleman purchased another round of shots for our table.

I played it safe by sticking with water and Coke for the rest of the night in an effort to remain sober and I figured I still had to drive home.

The band starts wrapping up there show and there is a big toast to the crowd with the crowd participating. We stand up holding out drinks(still soda for me) and say the chant along with the band.

It is during this that I see a hand with a glass appear over my shoulder. Since I was at the end of the table away from the band I could not think of another friend this might be.

It is then I feel a hand on my waist.

I twist to glance over my shoulder and whom do I see?

Drunk Guy #1 yet again.


WTF!!! Really?!?!

When he see me turn he backs up.

I am furious but as this happens the toast finishes and I am distracted by the end of the toast. A quick clink of glasses and I set my glass down.

Rogue(who was standing next to me a half step forward) catches the fact that I am really irked and asks me what is wrong. I explain that it is the drunk guy from earlier. (We filled him in on the story).

Now Rogue is the protective sort and we turn together to find him.

Only he is gone.

Now there is a large partition wall that separates the bar from the dinning/show area. We proceed around it.


Dart outside?


He and his friend are gone.

Oh well. Rogue at least was a total gentleman and one was not going to let some drunk fool upset a friend of his and two, and he can back it up.

We decided not to let it bug us but it is nice to know that someone has my back.

After this we girls head back to the part as we promised The Waitress and The Bartender a shot on us for being so good to us all night.

That and The Bartender wanted to sample what she had been making us since she had totally made it up on the spot.

While we were waiting the lead singer came up to talk to the group. Remember he knows quite a few of them rather well and also has Smurfette up on stage to join them for a song.

Once we have had our drink he walks over to me and introduces himself.


"Hi, my name is Bard I play with the band." (Obviously I am using the nickname of Bard as he is a musician with a great voice.)

"lol! I know I did watch the show."

"I have seen you here before recently, how long have you known this group?"

"Well some of them are new, but people like Rogue and Scholar I have known for a long time."

"Really? How come I have not seen you here before?"

"Oh they have been trying to get me to come for years, but previously I was in a relationship where I was not allow to do much when my ex decided he did not want to attend."

"Well I am glad you came. Actually I noticed you at a prior show and I did not see you at a show in between. I was worried we had scared you off?"

"Oh no! You guys are wonderful but there is simply no way I can make all the shows."

"Great I remember that show and thought "wow we must have been terrible that night" It was not one of our better shows that night."

"LOL!! Good show or bad show I would rather come see you guys than, say, go to work. You are a talented and fun group and you obviously enjoy yourselves doing it."

"Oh well thank you very much!"

"You are welcome!! Do mind if I ask you a questions?"

"Not at all go right ahead."

"At the end when you were giving your closing acknowledgments you mentioned a few former students here, what do you teach?" (He also gave a shout out to Rogue & Pixie for their anniversary.)

"Oh I teach Spanish and French at a local high school."

"Really I am going to Paris in September."

That statement sparked a ten minute conversation that prompted him to offer to share some of his travel info and even some study guides to improve my French. So he gave me his contact info with a promise to get together in the coming days.

Now relax, he is sixty and married but incredibly sweet and a pleasure to talk to. Which should make it interesting. Besides how does one expect to experience life if you do not take chances and meet new people.

Never the less that is how I came to get the lead singers phone number.

With everyone saying their goodbyes for the evening. Rogue comes up to me and asks if I am ok to drive home. I answer that I am but that I am probably pushing it and if I make a mistake I probably register over the limit. Now mind you I do not even have a buzz going. I just know it is still in my system and I cannot change that.

Rogue tells me he would rather I drive home with them and he will bring me back in the morning to get my car. Since it seems he is not driving either and leaving his car there too. Pixie's sister is driving us to his house.

"Besides a number of us are going there and plan on playing Cards Against Humanity."

"Oh I am so in!!"

With that we headed to Rogue and Pixie's house, played Cards Against Humanity until 3:30 am. It was at that point we all felt we had too much frivolity and laughter for the night.  Some  people went home and the rest of us found sleeping locations there at the house.

Now I bet you are wondering what happened to the part about Pixie's Dad.

Well I wasn't really paying too much attention at the dinning room table but I was sitting next to him. Upon waking up at seven AM(damn you internal alarm clock). I lingered in the bedroom I had been assigned until I hear someone moving about upstairs.

It turned out to be Pixie's Dad who was making coffee. He offered to get me a cup of tea and we sat and chatted while we waited for others to wake up so that we could head out for breakfast and retrieve the cars.

Now a little back story. Pixie's Dad was married for forty years, he became a widower last year when his wife sadly died.

I thought he was sweet and nice, but did not really think anything of it. I felt this way because here he was the father of three daughters the eldest of which graduated from the same HS as I did. One year prior to myself.

Think about that. He is old enough to be my father.


Just not gonna happen. I also did not realize until later that the reason he stayed that night rather than going home with the other daughter was because I was there. He also came to breakfast because I was there. It dawned on me that morning that the man was hitting on me rather than just being flirtatious.

I just did not make that connection because I just thought he was out enjoying spending time with his two daughters. I also did not talk to him much during the show the night before.

What made me realize it, was in direct comment about talking with me again over our morning cups of caffeine and again after breakfast. As I did join Pixie, Rogue  and their brood for noms.

Pixie, slyly apologized to me later in front of him, mentioning that her dad was just looking for company and was not interested in dating yet.

I half wonder if she figured it out around the same time I did.

Oh well, he is nice but I am simply not interested.

I bid my adieu and promised to get in touch with everyone after they returned from Ireland and I from Southern California next month.

That concludes the story of how I ended up not sleeping at home and was hit on by someone who would be old enough to be my father.

Crazy, crazy, crazy!!!

I can hold my head high and say I did not intentional go out and try to have a night like this. I simply wanted to have a good time with friends and the whole story happened really organically.

When my best friend Laura contacted me the following morning I gave her the same summary I gave you at the beginning part of this post. Needless to say it generated a big of shock and some hilarious laugher later. As I was not even at home yet when I responded to her.

It still is pretty surreal that my life his going as well as it is. I would have never foreseen having stories like this. Glad that I can laugh at them later.

Most importantly I am living life to the fullest and I do not think I can express in words how amazing I think that is.

Life has really taken off in the last seven or so months.

No one pinch me I might wake up.


Cassidy said...

You won't tell your kids... but Aunt Cass might.



Great post, girl! But how did you get tipsy from drinking Shirley Temples all night? ;D


Kelli Bennett said...

lol, smarty pants.

I was never drunk but I had enough to feel I should exercise caution. Rogue did the same. Also know I was there for 4 hours so it isn't like I was imbibing them all in 20 minutes.

And if Auntie Cass tells my kids I am sooooo taking her off my Christmas card list.


Cassidy said...

You *do* know you are setting the bar quite high for those of us a bit further back on the transition trail, do you not? ;c)

On that note, we should share with anyone who reads this what *I* was doing the same night: watching a documentary on Belle & Sebastian in my nightgown at home! lol

As I told Kelli then, I felt like putting on my petticoat after comparing notes!

Good for you for loving being you, hon! Now *that* is one bar I hope I reach as well!!!!