Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Kelli vs Hair - Round 2

A couple of weeks ago I visited a new skin care clinic that also specializes in hair removal.

They handle both Electrolysis and Lasers.

I payed for one visit since after my last round I was such a mess after the last experiment. I could have prepaid for three visits for the cost of two, but again being nervous I didn't want to feel obligated should it be bad again.

However much to my happiness it wasn't.

In fact is was remarkably better.

Night and day.

First, this is a dedicated skin care clinic. They are open 7 days a week so that someone would be available should an issue arise. Still I would have been happy knowing if I called and left a message I would get a call back the next day. The last place was simply a salon that provided the service on the side. Let's just say issue arose doing it this way.

Second, they used a brand of Laser that had come recommend to me many a time. If you can go the laser route I highly recommend finding local clinic that uses Candela GentleLASE units.

What did I notice?

Well they had their act together. I was provided a topical numbing cream to my face. Also she had me hold a bag of ice on parts of my face as she worked other areas. All this helped a great deal. Plus the laser itself dispenses a cryogenic mist to help freeze the nerves even more with each blast.

Another big thing is this laser covers a much larger area per blast. Meaning she was moving over the areas of my face much quicker then the last place. (again they used an IPL light technology that I later found out isn't wholly designed for hair removal. It has it's uses but largely for other things.)

Plus my tech told me that using the aforementioned tech to remove hair is much more painful and since it hits smaller areas I was probably getting double blasted.

The bottom line is that the first time around I spend 2.5 hours there and my face felt like a truck had run it over for almost a week after.

This time I was out in 50 minutes and my face felt massively better. Yes it still hurt. Make no mistake killing hair follicles is going to be painful know matter how you do it. But if you don't have to torture yourself any longer then you need to then don't. I also think the time I spent getting lased had a big difference with how I felt afterward. Really 24 hours later I was tender but it took almost a week and a half for me to reach this the first time around.

The results, well my hair grows very slowly to begin with so the normal 7 - 10 day ejection cycle for me is longer. More like 2 weeks and a few days. So that brings us to know. It is a very big difference. Suddenly a lot of my hair is gone. I can go three days before I feel any stubble and even then it is very sparse.

So I will be back for more. I need a few more visits to finish clearing out what I can. Those will have to wait until I get back from SCC next month. But if the results continue to be this good I am expecting between 80 - 90% to be removed. Anything else is going to be gray or stubborn, but it shouldn't take much to clear that out.

Considering what the cost of doing this strictly with electrolysis.

Oh and the face is the worse part I've also been getting what little I ever had on my chest cleared and I barely even felt that. Plus it is almost all gone now.

I am so looking forward to my next time out and see how much less makeup I will need to cover things up.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Option #4


Self Termination.




Call it what you will it all comes down to the same thing. Ending ones own life as a method to end the pain, torment, etc surrounding the truth of ones existence. Simply put you cannot handle it anymore and you choose to close the book on your life.

Now before I discuss this further I just want to say that I have to put this option into the discussion to keep the discussion honest. It is valid, it could happen. I have to recognize that this is a possibility.

Now to discuss it.

It has its advantages. Scary as that might sound but I believe it does. You won't have to endure the slings and arrows that general society will hurl at you. You will not put family and friend through their torment of the fact that you will be changing genders. There is also the hassle of work and maintaining a living. (Lets face it unless you get started early enough transition is expensive).

You will also stop suffering your own internal struggles. You won't have to agonize over pretending to be someone else. Constantly watching your mannerisms. Putting on an act for everyone to see you as you think they would want too.

This can have a certain appeal.

However the downside is that You will still hurt those family and friends who enjoy your company, who do care about you. Some might understand some might not, but that is another discussion. You will also not be around to simply enjoy life. To discover yourself, the world, and all the great things there is to just being alive.

Yes you will still probably face some adversity in choosing the path that is correct for you, but if you choose the above option you will not have a chance to reap the reward of living as your true self.

Without risk, there is no reward.

As for me?

I keep this option on the table simply to remind me that it there. Once during my teenage years seriously contemplated this option. I was about 13 years old. I was hating what was happening to my body as testosterone start to change my body in ways I didn't want. I didn't know that changes could be made, let along how to go about changing it. I personally hate this option. I certainly don't agree with it. But I understand why a person could choose this route.

But as I sat there in the darkness of my disparage I realized one thing.

I enjoyed being alive. To experience all this world has to offer. It was then I made the conscious decision to try my best to live as I must. It was either that or ending it all and I didn't want that.

As I look back it wasn't the best decision, but it was the one I made at that time. I didn't know what else to do. Back then I only saw two options, struggling and trying to live, or ending it all.

I choose the former. Which has lead me to where I am now and the fact that I can actually see other options in front of me.

But like the monster in the closet. I have to remember this is hiding in there, lurking, waiting.

I just choose to keep the door closed on it.