Thursday, November 7, 2013

And Yet Another First

What is it this time you ask?

Could be a lot of things.

How about my first interview post full time!

Yep it happened.

Now I do apologize, this happened much earlier in the year.

March in fact.

As I started to prep this post I discovered that my old company had somehow made the connection that this blog was written by me.

Which did not bother me too much. I certainly became more careful about making sure I did all my site editing from home.

I just was not sure how much they were going to be reviewing it.

Which made me stop with several posts I had been planning and it really impacted my blogging. As a lot of my topics were work related and knowing the above I did not want to risk anything.

I also certainly did not want them to know I was looking for a different job.

Which brings me to now.

As I already announced I already found that job.

Which means the moratorium on job related posts can be lifted.

{Don't worry I will be extra careful about posting from the new place. Not that I have had any issues there yet.}

Now let us get back to the original story.

When I decided to actively start looking for something new or different I did not know what was out there or what I would find.

Really all I did was update my resume and try to see what would happen.

Honestly I was shocked in the first 48 hours I received six calls or emails.

Now some of those were fluff and I was not interested in the job at all but at least I was getting a response.

I also directly applied to a few companies is regions that were really interesting to me.

Interestingly enough not many responded back. I wonder at times if it was simply the fact that there was a girls name at the top of the resume.

I doubt I will ever know but it is an interesting thought. I do work in IT and it is largely a male dominated industry.

Still I was getting enough activity that it was not concerning me too much.

Fairly early on I was mostly exchanging emails and a few phone calls. It was when an IT staffing company called me and wanted to bring me in for a face to face interview, that I took pause.

For two reasons.

First, I had not yet interviewed with any one face to face. This could be daunting and was intimidating. How would I do. Would they accept me for who I am. Would I get read. Would my nerves get the better of me.

Two, I was not too impressed with what they had to offer. There was not really anything catching my eye.

Regardless after a little thought I said what the heck. Why not go. At least I will find out a lot about how I come across. Plus even if it was awful because of nerves. I would at least have gotten that first one out of the way. With the hopes that when a job that I really wanted came along I would not have to suffer those nerves as much.

The first reason did not matter too much since I could always turn down something I would not be interested in.

With that I schedule a meeting with their recruiting supervisor for a time after work one day shortly thereafter. Which would put the meeting around late March.

I told her I was coming from work but I still dressed in a nice sheath dress and jacket. Nothing I had not worn to my old job before but not a pure business suit either. She had no problem with it at all.

I will not kid you. I was nervous and scared.

Especially when I hit that lobby.

I was shaking.

My thoughts totally on the fact that I was going to come across awfully and fake.

Yes, I have my issues at times with being trans.


It is just the nature of it all.

Pair that with the fact that this was something really important. Even if I did not actually need a job right now the time might come where I was forced to look for one.

This was a big deal.

A really BIG deal.

All of that just really made me freak out.

Regardless I did my best to relax and waited.

The recruiting supervisor came back finally, introductions were made and she led me back to a conference room.

There she started to give me some background about the company and what type of positions they typically fill.

From there she started to ask me questions about my work history and myself.

Once I got started my nerves rapidly started to fade. Everything I had to talk about was about me. My skills and a bit of who I am.

Nothing was false. It was all me. Just with a pronoun change. That was easy to do since I no longer even think of myself as anyone but who I am today.

The conversation got easy and the whole thing went great. We even had a discussion at the end about dealing with life now as divorced women.


After about forty minutes of talking about my work history, what type of opportunities I was looking for, we just fell into general chit-chat about life.

By the time I said my good-byes and was walking out the door, I felt a million times better. I could do this. It was all the same stuff I have talked about before. It was all me with the fact that I was just being me.

It also did not hurt that she complimented my on my attire.

Total added bonus.

It was not just that either. Near the end of the meeting she complimented me on my skill set. How articulate I was. My experience. She finished with:

"And you dress really well too."


"Oh yes. You look great and I love the dress, but you would not believe how some people show up. It gets bad."

"Well thank you."

Even though nothing came of the meeting and the connection with that particular company(I got the feeling they were looking more for software developers). The experience I got from getting that first interview out of the way was worth it's weight in gold.

I used that boost to my self esteem to go on to interview at other places while I got offers from some and not from others. I eventually found the position I am now at.

But those stories are for another post.

Monday, November 4, 2013

It Was Bound to Happen

I knew there would be moments of awkwardness during my transition.

I was also aware that if could happen after.

My hope was that it would not actually occur too much after full time.

For the most part it has not.

I did, however, have something happen recently.

This past Labor Day weekend(it is a U.S. holiday for those overseas readers) I once again made an appearance at the Cabin.

Yes, that cabin.{link}

The usual suspects were there. Rogue, Pixie, Jester, Scholar, Professor, and Ginger to name a few.

There were even a few who were there during my winter visit, and even a few new people.

Overall the weekend was a blast. I surprised them with my cooking skills as I made them a fairly large batch of my famous baby back ribs. Most of this group had never had them before and the complements were off the charts.

I think my favorite comment was "These ribs are like crack!"

There was great conversations, lots of laughs, good food as I was not the only one who cooked that weekend(I discovered candied bacon FTW!!). Plenty of movie watching and table top gaming.

I even brought with me a new one I had recently purchased.

I big part of the reason I like to go is there is absolutely no agenda for these weekends(or weeks). Come, have fun, but do what you want too. Sleep. Eat. Watch a movie or TV shows. Game. Read or anything in between.

About the only schedule is breakfast in the morning dinner in the evening. Anything else and you are on your own.

It is very relaxing.

Yet the title of this post indicates there might have been an issue.

And you would be right there was.

It was brief but something did happen that I did not expect.

When I arrived Friday night, as I had driven up right after work, Scholar was giving me the run down on where I might sleep for the weekend.

We were walking around and he listed off the large shared bedroom upstairs, the studio apartment above the garage, the bunk room in the old cabin, the full bedroom in the old cabin, and the roost.

The roost?

I had no idea what this was.

It turned out to be a small bedroom above the outside bath house. This was a late addition to the property and the bathhouse is now largely a storage room. Yet the apartment is well insulated, powered, and other than having to duck to get into it, very roomy. Most people can stand upright and not have an issue.

As we walked down from that he wrapped up the list of options with the following:

"If none of that works for you I have a king bed in the basement I am very willing to share."

*blink, blink*

"Scholar did you just hit on me?"


"Seriously, why?"

"Well for one you are hot! I also have the extra room and I am single."

I looked at him for a second as I put my thoughts together about this.

"Scholar...I cannot. I am sorry but with someone I have known for so long I just cannot do it. Are you okay with this?"

"Yeah fine, I was just taking the chance you might say something different."

"I am sorry but no."

Thankfully this did not impact the weekend I had at all. It just made for one awkward moment. It also as not affected my friendship with Scholar at all.

It is just something I cannot do. As I explained to Pixie at a later time. One firm rule I have regarding all of this is that I cannot comfortably date or pursue anyone I was really close friends with before hand.

Pixie understood what I was getting at and confirmed that it was also just Scholar being scholar. He cannot help himself at times. Especially when he is single.

The biggest reason is not them either. I would just find it way too awkward myself. Trust me there is more than one that I would consider otherwise if I was just meeting them for the first time and they are not married, it would be a different story.

When I say too awkward I mean it too. It would be way too awkward for me.

Still I guess it was bound to happen at some point. One of my older friends was going to make a pass at me.

Nothing came of it, he has not tried again and I am still friends with Scholar today.

At least in this case it was mostly harmless.