Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Whats in a name?

Well...

...as you might know Kelli Bennett is not my actual name.

Shocking I know.

I am not sure how I latched onto the name Kelli but I like it, it has been with me for a long time.

I answer to it.

I recognize it.

It is me.

I will not let go of it.

(Couple this with the fact that I found out my parents were going to name me after my mother had I actually been born a girl. I would still change my name if that was the case. No offense to my mother but that would have drove me nuts. What were they thinking?)

So when the name change happens, which I plan on timing for going full time, I will stick with Kelli.

I like too much now not to use it.

However the big quandary is my last name.

Bennett, isn't mine.

Obviously.

Mine is a rather identifiable ethnic name. Common enough in the native country to be well know, and unique enough here to have people ask me all the time of I know such and such.

(And no I was born here in the US. Third generation at least.)

Other then my parent, brothers, uncle, two nephews and the one cousin who didn't get married.

The answer is no.

However I am rather partial to it.

It has long been an identifying moniker for me. Heck even my nickname, which is the first initial of my last name. Has been that way for 25 years.

I have a rather common first name and there were several of us in my HS including a few in my graduating class. So to seperate us my last name was used.

Which got shortened to just the first letter.

It is me, I like it, I also like my last name. Part of me will miss that.

I could however keep it. Instead of becoming Kelli Bennett. I could instead choose Kelli <current last name>. It does actually fit, has a nice ring to it. The nickname could still be used.

No I won't post what it is here. Again too identifying while I am pre-transition and not fully out.

The problem here is I like both.

I am so not sure what to do with this one.

*sigh*

3 comments:

Jerica said...

I hear ya girl.

I am keeping my last name, I have always loved it and been proud of it. It might be interesting if I ever get married to a man and he wants me to change it.

My quandry however is whether to change my middle name, Kirk. It's my dad's first name and I've always been proud of it but it's a bit masculine for a girl. =)

I was thinking I might change it to Katie. Jerica Katie Truax.

But I don't know, lots of stuff to think about =)

Jennifer's Diary said...

Assuming you are going to stay in the same community, people are going to "know" who you are anyway. So keeping the same last name actually helps with the social transition.

I too had a different last name during my pre-transition years. I was out socially and it was actually harder to get people to go back to my legal last name. I even got a Christmas card this year with my pre transition name! And it's been two years! I ended up telling some of them that I was going back to my maiden name.

I ended up keeping my birth last name to provide a link for my family, especially my daughter.

That being said, I still like the sound of the name I chose instead of the one I was given :)

Jessica Lyn said...

I too thought about changing my last name but both Jerica and Jennifer bring up two different points that I came to in the past and has made me decide not to change mine.

One, if you ever get married, you may change your last name to his.. and two, after going full time, people will know who you are anyway, so why bother changing.

I'd say unless one really hates their last name there is no really reason to change it. And even then, changing your last name may make your transition just that much harder on your family.

I did however, change my middle name. The funny thing about that is the girl form of my real middle name is the same as my moms first name.. which isn't bad, but I just wanted my name to be my own.