In the strangest of places

I haven't said much about this in the past, but I am a huge music nut. I listen to just about anything from Rock to Pop, Classical to Metal, Alternative, Jazz, Blues, Grunge, Funk, Electronic, and Rap. My current soup de jour is Electronic/Breakbeat/Mashups.

About the only thing I don't listen to is Country. I don't know I just can't get into it. Though I will admit to liking Johnny Cash.

But music has never influenced me. There are songs that I connect with and sometimes very strongly. Van Halen's 'Right Now' remains to this day my favorite song. Period. Listen to it and you might understand why. But I never 'lived' the lifestyle as so many are wont to do. I didn't dress like a burnout, I didn't dress like a white pretending he was black, or anything else. I was hiding among the crowd so I just didn't try to draw attention to myself. Cause when I did, boy did I ever. Blend into the background was goal.

I guess I just never felt the need to act or dress like the artist I was listening to. I just listened to them to enjoy the music.

However in playing around with finally cleaning up my digital music collection, re-encoding my entire CD library. I have been running through songs, while very familiar, I might not have listen too very much recently.

During this I ran into some lyrics that jumped out and surprised me from places I wouldn't expect them.

Such as the following:

"There's no fessing or guessing while I'm expressing myself
It's crazy to see people be
what society wants them to be, but not me"

Considering some of the things running through my head lately about everything, this line stuck in the back of my mind. It had been a long time since I listen to this song. In fact it has been rolling around in there for the last two weeks ever since I heard the line again. Almost becoming a Mantra of sorts, especially when you consider the song's message in general. It's more political though the rest of it but has a basic message.

Who is it?

Express Yourself by N.W.A.

Yeah, I kid you not.

And as wild as that one is I don't think that one compares to the next one. I'm only going to use the verses for this song the Chorus doesn't quite fit what I have been thinking lately. But the general lyrics just totally hit me in the head when I heard them again.

"If I could have my wasted days back
Would I use them to get back on track?
Stop to warm at karmas burning
Or look ahead, but keep on turning?

Do I have the strength
To know how I'll go?
Can I find it inside
To deal with what I shouldn't know?

Could I have my wasted days back
Would I use them to get back on track?"

[Chorus]

I've worn out always being afraid
An endless stream of fear that I've made
Treading water full of worry
This frantic tick tick talk of hurry

Do I have the strength
To know how I'll go?
Can I find it inside
To deal with what I shouldn't know

Worn out always being afraid
An endless stream of fear that I've made

You live it or lie it!"

I almost wanted to cry as I was listening to this song. For me it rang so true with where I am at in my life right now it is almost scary. I felt like I was the one who wrote this song. It is every feeling that has been going through my head the last year and a half.

Now I bet you are wondering who it is.

I'll give you a moment to think about it.

Still don't know?

Frantic - Metallica

I know, get out! I just never imagined something like that from that source. It boggles the mind sometimes.

Amazing what you will find in your music collect when you are simply playing them alphabetically in order!