Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Interesting Comment

This Memorial day I stopped by an old friend's on Monday for a few hours.

He is a good friend and colleague from days past. He and I have been through some harrowing times together working sometimes over forty hours straight trying to bring a companies data systems back online after a major catastrophe.

We do talk all the time, but have not stood in each others presence in over a year.

That and since he is contracting me for some side work in a week or so I thought it would be time to catchup.

(Besides in my line of work extra cash is hard to come by. I have been a salary employee for 15 years now. When you consider the sometimes 80 or 100 hour weeks I have worked that really bites. Not to mention with everything coming up I could use the money.)

It was nice to see him. We talked about everything going on since we last saw each other (ok maybe I didn't mention everything, but he is high on the list to disclose to.)

Just life stuff in general. A little shop talk about what I would be working on for him.

All in all it was good to see him and talk.

As I mentioned I haven't seen him in person in over a year. So the first words out of his mouth as I walked up to the door?

"Wow you look like a little boy."

That is the first time I have ever heard that.

However it brings to mind that even though I have changed a bit people who still have a visual imprint of 'him' in their mind. So really even though I look different they are expecting him. All they are doing is updating that visual imprint to allow for the changes.

This is one reason I am being mildly aggressive with some facial surgery. It is partially for me, since I don't want to look into the mirror and see those reminders of 'him' which will give me a lot more confidence. The other issue is what I mentioned above. I want to alter other peoples visual perception of me. Especially those that know 'him' rather well. So that they cannot overlay the memory of 'him' as easily as they did before.

Still it was a very interesting comment to hear.


Melissa said...

When you take a male under 35 or 40, and soften his looks with estrogen and facial hair removal, what you get is the youthful look of a boy. What will make that boyish face look truly feminine, is not facial surgery, but an arching and serious reduction of the width of the eyebrows. I've seen your face in the picture you have shown us, and unless you simply want to have a completely different face, the only thing you meed to do to look completely like a woman, is to decrease the width of your eyebrows by about half. I would seriously recommend that you do that first, and then give yourself a little time to get used to the way it makes you look, before you seriously contemplate painful, expensive, and potentially risky facial surgery. You will not believe the dramatic difference, that feminine eyebrow shaping can have on the total appearance of your face. When I was in my early thirties and had long hair, I did that to my eyebrows. At work one day, a colleague looked at me and said point blank, "You look like a woman." He said that, even though I had not had my facial hair removed, and still had an obvious shadow, but he was right, I did look like a woman, and I did not before the eyebrow plucking.

I have even seen natural born women, who looked like boys because of their bushy eyebrows. Merely reducing and arching their brows, made them look dramatically more female.

I know that your heart is probably set on facial surgery, because you speak of it often, but you really should give that a try first. You can always go on to have surgery later, if you want to.

Melissa XX

Kelli Bennett said...

LOL Melissa, I already have less then half of what I had when they were full and less now then when the picture was posted. It does help but there are other things I have to deal with.

Most of what I am going to do is for myself. The Doctor I recently talked to was very complimentary that it won't take a lot of work to resolve them. And my nose needs work done regardless I would like to breathe though it again one day. :D