Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am a Leaf on the Wind

Seems an apropos statement.

Things seem to now be in a complete state of flux.

Not that this would be a bad thing.

Just everything that was in my head about what to get done and when has been thrown up into the air.

And I am not sure which one will come down first.

Maybe I needed this. I have a lot of things that need to be taken care of.

Perhaps pushing transition back to next year might make more sense. I can take care of other big issues first and get myself to a point were it is simply dealing with work and transition.

Plus the extra time will allow me to further investigate things that I need to along with save more money to have them done.

It isn't ideal as I know it will be harder to hold myself together that long.

I'll have to find a place to live, sort out the mess at home, determine how that will impact me then figure out when I can go forward again.

With any luck that will be early next year. Hopefully in March, but I at least want to have the next big steps scheduled by years end so that I can start dealing with other things.

Like coming out at work.

So that I can take time off next year for the aforementioned events along with returning as me.

That...should be interesting.

And I can always book things now and just shuffle them later if I need to.

*sigh*

I just want to get through all this mess so that I can soar. :D

2 comments:

Debra said...

I understand girl. I took the fast track myself because I felt the same way. If you can get things in line first then the more power to you =)

Then soar! =)

Jessica Lyn said...

This is way I haven't yet transitioned. When I moved in with my mom, my car got smashed and so I had to buy a new one. Had to mom out of my moms house and get an apt. Got rid of my apt and got a house. And the house has a things that it needs and things that I want for it.

All these things I've done but I haven't yet start HRT, and that's the one thing I wanted to do when I told my mom about me like 3 years ago.

At least I have these things now and I'm in a place where I feel safe and transitioning must come next.. maybe I wasn't exactly ready for it 3 years ago, but I am more than ready now.

I hope everything goes well for you. (Hugs)