Friday, June 25, 2010


Yep, I have got me a good one.

This was something that I was completely not expecting.

It came totally out of nowhere.

It also has fantastically wonderful timing.


If you have been following along I have mentioned previously I have been doing some side work for a friend.

I have a rather unique and valuable skill set that not many people in the field have.

It generates a lot of interest and I get number of calls from recruiters.

Now this friend that I am working for is a former college. He and I worked together for over four years and have know each other for over thirteen. We really came into the field and that company almost at the same time.

We had some interesting times. Very long days, nights and sometimes they all ran together. As we tried to bail out other engineers or even the companies themselves. We actually became friends through all this.

I however saw the change in management when we were absorbed by a larger company.

And left after four years.

He remained on for several more before going off to a few small integrators, then decided to just do it on his own.

I have worked with him from time to time over the years as I continued to work as a consultant for many more years until just over two years ago.

When I felt I was just burnt out on the lifestyle after twelve plus years.

It also didn't hurt that the opportunity to work where I do now was dropped into my lap.

So I left the mad paced consulting world and took an administrators gig at a rather large office.

I have enjoyed it for the most part, however upper management has shown a rather weak willed approach to maintaining our environment.

I may have mentioned it at one point in time.

Though even with all that there is a great diversity policy and anti discrimination policy here. It is also a strong and stable company. I feel that I stand a very good chance of at least getting through most of my transition without too many issues.

Then hopefully if things were that uncomfortable with co-workers and the immediate department I could at least then move on as myself.

It seemed like a good plan.

Until almost a week ago.

My friend called me the day after we had spent time at one of his customers in the evening.

We had talked about all types of things while I did my thing.

So the next day he was getting some updates to me.

When he shocked me silly.

He offered me a full time job.


The rub?

He doesn't know. He is on my list to disclose my function to, but honestly I really was not ready for this one, just yet.

My answer?

I don't know.

I really don't.

Really the idea of transitioning while in front of clients and customers does not seem that appealing to me.

On the other side it is more money and he has a ton of work. He is also one of the very few people who could tempt me back into the consulting realm.

He was on the eve of leaving for a vacation so I begged off that we would talk about it when he gets back. I really didn't want to ruin his trip nor make things difficult for me to finish the projects for him that I have while he is gone.

The major issue is do I disclose to him what my issue is when I do talk to hm about that. So that he isn't hiring me under the pretense of not knowing what I am going to do.

Because as we know I am transitioning.

It is not gonna happen people, it is happening.

I would think he would want to know why I might be turning him down.

The second issue is do I want to subject myself to that scrutiny of trying to transition while constantly in front of all these new people and strangers?

It is truly a quandary.

Thankfully I still have time to think about this one. Well at least the weekend.

He is back on Monday.

I do think I will have to disclose to him what is going on. Let him know that if he wants to hire me I will need time to make some changes. If not I can still work on the side as I do have the rest of this year mostly open. The major transition stuff will happen after the first of the year.

The issue with that is will he still let me work on the side?

Since the money is that good and we all know how expensive transition is.

It just came very unexpectedly right now.

And it isn't like I haven't already had a lot of things on my mind.


Sophie Jean said...


This sounds like the best opportunity to bring your friend on board. He may even tell you after you brief him on your state of affairs that, "It's the performance that matters."

Having a skill set in-demand is something that actually aids transitioning, especially if people view you as tops in your field.

Taking time to think about what you're going to say sounds like a wonderful plan.

Hugs and God Bless, Sophie

Paige Madison said...

I am new to your blog, but based on my own experience I do feel that in this case you do need to tell him what you are doing. Hopefully he is the open-minded sort and will accept the change.

If you can be introduced to his clients as your already transitioned self it will make matters easier. They have no need to know anything about you other than your performance unless you choose to make it known.

I was planning on transitioning on the job, but got laid off before that could happen. So I went ahead and took advantage of the down time and took care of the legal niceties. I went into my new job with my new identity and have never had a problem.

Jerica Truax said...

Well Kelli, it's like you said. You ARE's HAPPENING. You're going to have to tell him and many others soon enough. Now seems like a good time. Just my opinion of course. GL whatever you do!

<3 Jerica

Laura Bennett said...

I have to agree with everyone else Kelli.

The fact is you ARE transitioning. Since that is the constant you can either have a job with your friend or you firm. If it's with your friend, he is going to have to know at some point and after hiring would not be full disclosure. If you tell him ahead of time and he is ok with it, then you have created some financial security for yourself through transition.

If he's not ok with it, then what difference does it make, you haven't committed to anything with him. It changes your friendship, but that may happen anyway.

I think this is an opportunity to be honest with the no real consequences. Worst case scenario is you stay where you are. The positive potential is job security during transition. The potential positives seem to greatly outweigh the negatives here.

Carpe Diem!


Kelli Bennett said...

The issue isn't so much working for him. Though he may have an issue with my function.

No I think the thing really bothering me is still being in this in between state and having to transition in a much more public fashion. And no I cannot go work for him as me just yet.