Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Whirlwind Weekend: The Complete Story

As I have mentioned this last weekend had the potential for some fairly interesting experiences.

Some of them happened.

Some of them didn't.

And some I wasn't aware could happen. Happened.

It does make life interesting to say the least.

Now, to make sense of all this I am going to break this up into two part. 'The Lunch' and 'The Party'.

Let's start with The Lunch shall we?

This almost didn't happen and while it did happen. It also didn't happen.

Let me explain.

As I was getting ready to leave the house to get a few things done, J called. Seems She had been sick on Thursday and was swamped with meetings trying to get caught up on things for Friday. Which She felt was not going to give her the time to get out of the office.

So she asked if she could reschedule. Deflated but understanding, I agreed to set something up on a later day.

Then I proceeded to start to rearrange my day with what I needed to get done.

When about an hour later J called again. Seems that several of her meetings got canceled and she was going to have time for lunch. But it was going to be on a tight time frame.

I said sure and immediately had to go into scramble mode as I was already now doing other things.

I shifted plans yet again and ran out the door.

Now as mentioned before I need to disclose to J. She is one of my best and oldest friends. I thought about doing it during this lunch. However with the mad scramble and canceling of plans along with rescheduling back on again. I was thrown a little off.

Be that isn't the major reason I didn't tell her. No it had to do with the time I spent with her and how much I value her friendship.

See, as soon as she hopped into my car it was like old times. It was as if it had not been over six months since we last saw each other.

In that moment things were just washed away. We immediately starting chatting about life, things, family, laughing, being silly, and simply enjoying the others company throughout lunch.

Which caused me to realize quiet quickly that this wasn't the time to tell her. She has been too good a friend for too long to gloss over it in fifteen minutes during a lunch, on Friday no less.

No, I am going to have to try and pin her down for a dinner or something with more time so I can explain this and at least have the time to be available to talk about it. Not only is it that important to me, she is that important to me.

I need to approach this as best I can and not rush it. I realize that now. Don't worry I already have an email out to her stating the desire to talk in the near future for a greater length of time.

Still it was wonderful to see her and spend time with her again. If there is anyone I would miss losing as a friend the most it is her. There no doubt about that.

We shall see.

Now for part II 'The Party'

I still haven't come back to earth from this. Quite simply it was one of the best times I ever had. Though I was a little disappointed for B, for two reasons.

But I will get to that in a minute.

I simply had a great time. Enjoyed myself thoroughly. I met a few really cool new people. Everyone was extremely welcoming and complimentary. Including B's cousin C, who is a cis girl, total sweetheart and cute as a button. (We totally clicked on a number of things and one of my favorite parts of the night was talking literature for about thirty minutes discussing things that we are reading or have recently read.)

My Smores' bars were a total hit. Not only did everyone love them, they couldn't believe that I actually made them myself. Which had to I proved by reciting the recipe and mixing instructions from memory. People actually asked if they could take some of the extras home.

Yes, I made a lot of them. :D

The food was generally good. B makes this really interesting pasta salad. He calls it a BLT pasta salad. It was really good. He really surprised me how much he put into the event and how concerned he was that everyone had a good time. Which contributed to my first issue as B didn't get the turnout he had hoped for. A little more than 50% attended but many, too many, did not.

I was a little disappointed for him knowing how much energy he had put into all of it.

While lead us to wrap the party up around 10:30 as people were filtering out and heading either home or to one of the various clubs in the area.

Since it filtered down so much we wrapped up the party ourselves and headed out to reunite with a few of them just to try and continue some of the fun.

It was worth it as I still had fun even though I was in total casual dress and not really dressed for a night out I went anyway. Who cares really.

My second issue was with B's boyfriend. He is so in the closet it isn't funny. He refuses to mix his gay friends with his straight friends and panics about every little thing that looks suspicious.


Now I know there are still is some unfriendly people out there. Yet growing up in a blue collar Midwestern state. I have had gay friends for years. Many of them open and have held parties in the past were the crowds were mixed. None of the people who attended ever had an issue. I think mostly because the hosts of those parties were out, open and stated it is just a gathering of people.

Nothing else.

Either way I feel bad for B. He is a total sweetheart and wears his heart on his sleeve and his BFs behavior just hurts me to see.

The real issue was the cheap pass he made at me.

See B and I know each other and because of that I am comfortable with him. We can and do sometimes flirt a little shamelessly, though harmlessly.

G (B's boyfriend) saw this when I was helping B in the kitchen prepping food so people could eat.

Yes, I am always in hostess mode for some crazy reason.

Regardless I was being sassy with B about something (I am aware that those who know me well are going to have a really hard time believing I can be sassy /wink) which prompted B to give me a playful swat on my butt for my attitude. It was all he could do as I had my hands full of something that I was spooning into a dish.

I didn't mind. He was just getting back at me for my smart mouth and it was completely harmless.

But G saw it.

Which prompted him not five seconds later as B had left the kitchen to take a dish or tray outside, to walk up behind me and take the same liberty.



I spun half way around on him and said "Excuse me."

"Well I saw B do it and thought it was fair game and you have a nice butt."

"Umm while slightly flattered. B I know, you I just met. So I am sorry to tell you that isn't the case and not appropriate."

"Oh? Well I am bisexual so..."

(As if that makes it all better.)

"I understand but please don't."

He left the room after that and nothing else was said about it.

I honestly feel for B because he is trying so hard to make this work. G seems nice but it has become apparent to me he has some issues. It has been a long time since I knew someone personally like this where the situation just seems like a wreck waiting to happen.

My heart goes out to B since he has been such a good friend and so supportive of me.

Yet that was a minor incident that really did nothing to ruin my night. I still had a ton of fun meeting new people. I got asked by all three cis women there where I had gotten my top from and two of them loved my sandals.

The moment of the night through belongs to B's cousin C. She was changing to head out for the night after the party wound down and B and I were in the hallway chatting with each other and her.

After we walked back into the room. I commented that she looked really cute in a very simple dress that she had brought with her. She teased back that it just worked for her figure. I told her that I didn't know what she was complaining about since I had more concerns about my figure then she did.

Her reply stunned me:

"What?!? OMG girl I am so freaking jealous of you! You have an amazing figure and I wish I had it and not the one I got."



I think my jaw is still on the floor somewhere at B's house. I should probably go pick it up one day.

I really didn't know what to say. I know I said thank you but that even I have my issues. She still poo-poo'd me a bit in response. It is just crazy to hear something like that when you consider the source.

Though I am jealous of B to have such a supportive and accepting family member. Those two are more like brother and sister then cousins. She was also very much my kind of person. Smart, personable, and most importantly funny. Her and I cracked each other up a few times that night. She was a joy to spend time with.

The whole day and night was simply a whirlwind of fun. I was so sad when it was time for me to make my trip back home. I said goodbye to C and told her I hoped we would get the chance to see each other again. She said the same. I then gave B a huge hug and thanked him again for being such a good friend and for inviting me. I also chided him about not waiting so long to hang out again.

The absolute best part of this little adventure was the fact that I just stopped thinking about my gender and spent time as myself. No one once questioned me at all and I was simply allow to enjoy living life.

These moments remind me why I am going through all this trouble to transition.

I so wanted to put it into a bottle and save it. I cannot wait for things to be a little more permanent for me. Full time is around the corner yet it cannot get here soon enough.

Another cool part of the whole weekend?

One of the other attendees has already been in contact with me (through B) to invite me to another one in August.

You bet I am going.

In the end all I can say is that it was all a blur of squee, laughter, omg and FUN!


LeAnne said...

Good for you girl friend!!! It is the times like this that make everything bearable. Going out, getting GREAT compliments from people, and the best part of all, you were totally comfortable in your surroundings. That, is priceless!!!!

I'm really happy for you as I was on pins and needles waiting for this post to come along. I thrive on the positive experiences, we as tg people can get. We all carry a bag of dispair from our closeted past. So, when we get to go and be ourselves, it's such a release!


Jessica Lyn said...

Glad you had fun while being yourself!

I hope if works out with your friend and his bf.

Stace said...

The absolute best part of this little adventure was the fact that I just stopped thinking about my gender and spent time as myself. No one once questioned me at all and I was simply allow to enjoy living life.

Whilst I've only stepped out twice this has been the thing I noticed most (afterwards).

Glad you have a great party!


Kelli Bennett said...

Thank you everyone it means a lot.

@Stace, the best part is I didn't even notice it then. It only occurred to me as I was writing the post.

Gina Lee said...

So let me get this straight. I have known you for more than one night. So I get to smack you on your rump too??? Right?

Just being out and accepted for who you are and having long discussions about anything else. You have arrived, girl! Just savor the moments. You will have many more!
Loved the story.

Kelli Bennett said...

More then one night I don't think so. LOL! I have known B longer then I have known you. Plus he is a total sweetheart and a dear friend. I would do almost anything for him.

Which reminds me I promised him we would go out for dinner or something. I need to get in touch with him.

And one night would be better then less then one hour. Yes, It happened that fast. I'm not kidding.