Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Well this last Friday I had some time off work.

I decided to take advantage of it.

Thus I called the MAC store I visited back in December and talked to A about an appointment.

I had talked to her earlier in the spring when buying a another brush and foundation.

She asked me when I was going to be in again as she was looking forward to it.

Wow this was cool so I told her I had some Fridays off in the summer and I would stop in for one, but that I would call ahead.

Before I left she even told me same as before, that if I was comfortable enough to stop in as myself.

Even better.

So I had finally setup something for this last Friday as this was the first one I had that nothing else was happening on.

And I went in... me.

Totally cool actually I feel a lot more comfortable as myself. I am more relaxed. There is no thrill or excitement about anything. I am simply just me.

Which is just kinda nice. I had nothing fancy on just some cropped jeans and a cut tee layered over a white tank. Along with some cute flat sandals.

Remember this has never been about the clothes, though goodness knows I love'em, most of the time I just go for cute and casual.

She was with a customer when I got there so I just browsed the store for a bit until she finished and caught up to me.

"Well hello, my goodness you look really cute. Is this typical for how you go out."

"Hi and yes this is fairly normal for me."

"So what where you thinking about trying, anything in particular?"

"Well you mentioned a light yet fun summer look so why not try that."

"Cool, (pause as she studied me for a moment) How about a fun eye with a bit of purple layered on it with a just a bit of pop but we will go with a softer lip and cheeks."

"Lol you had me at purple but yes that sounds great."

"Well are you ok sitting up front?"

"I am standing here in the store aren't I?"

"Lol very true, lets get you a seat and we'll get started."

Away we went. I was nice to sit there and be myself, chatting with her, asking questions, talking life, her explaining the idea and how she was doing it, along with laughing and having fun.

I didn't feel out of place or self conscious one bit this was just me doing things I like. Plus really I have never had someone to talk to about makeup and not get a funny look. I am really trying to catchup on 25 years of education that most other girls get by default.

All in all it was a blast and I learned several new things. In addition the over all look was simply yet very cute.

I purchased a few things and didn't spend nearly as much as I did the first time. Considering all I needed was the colors and the lip products as I had much of everything else.

I couldn't thank her enough and just before I left she mentioned some interesting new color lines coming in the fall. I told her I would be back but I have to spread out these trips, MAC isn't cheap but I cannot deny the quality of their product. It also doesn't hurt that it lasts a long time as I use a lot less of it then anything I have tried before.

However I only told you that story so that I could tell you this one.

After skimming the mall for a bit, I didn't buy anything as I am still on a tight budget and I spent enough at MAC, I headed home.

So before I had to scrub my face clean as I did have an event that evening that I had to do as him. I studied myself in the mirror for a bit. Looking at where she put color and how she did it. Making a few copious mental notes and studying the face sheet she gave me. When I do something like this I make sure I get it in my head as much as possible, one because I am the type of person who like to improve myself. Second, I loved how it looked on me. Generating the desire to be able to do it myself.

But I digress, what I am trying to explain is I was looking at the parts doing this and not the whole.

When I stepped out of the bedroom to put some things away I stepped back in one more time and took another glance.

And I paused.


For a moment I didn't move.

I looked again...

...and paused a second time.

It really took me a rather long moment to comprehend what I was seeing in the mirror.

As I took in the whole picture of what was reflected before me I, for the first time ever, saw something I didn't ever see before.

Or rather did not see.

As in 'Him'.

I wasn't seeing him at all.

Better still there was nothing extravagant about what I was doing or how I was dressed.

He simply is fading away.

Only I didn't see it until that moment.

I mean truly see it.

I normally don't stare at myself in the mirror. This is more true lately then even as I feel so in between.

But I really stopped and looked in this moment.

As all I was seeing was a fairly cute girl staring back at me. More importantly that cute girl was me.

Since it finally hit me how much I have actually changed.

I even did something I had been actively avoiding. I took a few pictures with my web cam simply so I could save them for a rainy day when I am feeling depressed about myself.

There is still work to be done. I am not finished yet. I just feel a whole lot better about how I am turning out.

It is just a really nice feeling to know that the reflection in the mirror is changing and for the better.


Melissa said...

Makeovers are such a totally feminine experience. I guess that's what makes them so much fun. I'm so glad that you felt confident enough to enjoy having your makeup done out in front. What a shame that you had to scrub it all off, and revert back to boy mode for the evening.

It really is amazing the difference that some properly applied makeup, and a feminine hairstyle can make in ones appearance. People who know me as Melissa, only see an attractive woman. They would never even recognize me, without my hair and makeup, because I look so totally different. I've never understood the aversion that a lot of girls have to wearing makeup, since when properly applied for a natural look, it vastly improves everyone's appearance.

Melissa XX

Kelli Bennett said...

The point I was getting at wasn't just the makeup, which was minimal.

What I was really noticing was my features and the shape of my face in general has change a lot.

What little makeup I had on just was accenting the right things and even I was surprised with the reflection.

He simply wasn't there like he used to be.

Jerica Truax said...

I know what you mean about looking in the mirror and seeing a girl even without anything on. It happens occasionally for me. I still see a boy in the mirror a lot though without makeup =/

LeAnne said...

I get where you are coming from girl friend!! It's that pivotal moment when you finally see your true self in the mirror.
Mirrors, they can be quite evil some times showing you what you do not wish to see. Other times it's like looking into one that is magic. Showing you what was there all the time and not realizing the reflection.
I feel that we all are so hard on ourselves with a life time of wanting, wishing, and hoping for the feminine person that is never there. Then when we finally see the fruits of our efforts, it's priceless.

Here's to your for finally realizing your true beauty


lisalisa said...

It is amazing how we dont notice small changes and then one day Bam you can see it.
Good for you.
I must try to have a makeover one day I guess.

Kelli Bennett said...

I try not to get wrapped up in the whole makeover thing. Really I just look at is a life coaching. We all have things or areas of our life we want to improve in. Regardless if it is work, schooling, cooking, fitness, sports, art. Most of use will look for an experience teacher to help us improve who we are or what we are doing.

A is a fantastic artist and shows me ways to keep things simple yet still look good. I love to look good it is who I am and have always have been. I just never had anyone to teach me these things.

That and I might have overdone things in the past trying to teach myself. That is not to say I failed entirely but it never always completely looked good. Still using that knowledge and adding in what my stylist taught me and now A has made huge difference.

I can also recommend the use of better products. Yes, it might cost more, but I use less and it last so much longer. I like MAC but I know Estee Lauder, Dior, Sephora, and others, all have great products and excellent teachers. It is just a matter of going and doing.