Monday, July 12, 2010

Dealing with an Unruly Mob

Well this, I guess, was partially expected.

Though not entirely.

What is happening is that some of her extended family is not only asking questions about me, a few are also making comments about how they don't care for me.

Funny this.

Seems I have been viewed as controlling of everything. Not allowing us to go see this side of the family.

Huh?

Not sure why this is.

I mean really we haven't been invited to many things lately. Though that could be related, again, to me.

Yet as far as I am aware there hasn't been much going on.

Never mind that, honestly, I have never felt welcome by that side all that much. I usually sit and talk to just a handful of a few people.

Mostly the women. Go figure.

That crowd has quite a few, shall I say macho, men in it.

Oddly enough I don't fit into that crowd all that much. Not to mention that even though I can talk a lot of the topic that come up. I really have no desire to.

Crazy isn't it?

What really pisses me off about all this. Is the fact that these things were said and yet they don't know how often I ensue my own family to attend things for her.

So the complaint is utter bullshit.

Pardon my French. It just fits.

This past Thanksgiving day was the first time I had spent one with my parents in four years.

Yet I normally go to not one, but two in the same day for her and by extension for them.

This should make it painfully obvious why I have yet another reason to extract myself from the situation.

It isn't her fault, they are who they are. Close minded, bigoted and perhaps even a bit more racist then anyone might realize. I will reserve a bit of that judgment since I haven't seen it first hand. Let's just say things have been said now and again that causes one to raise an eyebrow on occasion.

I can only imagine what is going to happen if I had to transition in front of these people. As I am seeing them several times a years.

It isn't like that haven't seen some of the changes already. As I noted above they have.

The fact that I am already considered selfish by them is only going to get worse.

Not to mention they will all rush to her defense. Blaming me for what I am doing.

Honestly, the selfish people are the ones who cannot open their minds to the fact that not everyone is like them. Not everything is all black and white.

That there are shades of gray. Regardless of if it is sexuality, gender, or some other lifestyle that would be considered different, or better yet, outside the norm.

Too bad for them, but I don't need to hear it.

Really.

I am going to have enough issues with being Trans. Don't ever think for a second that I am transitioning with rose colored glasses. I know the heartbreak, difficulties and whatever that I can and might face. I, however, choose to remain positive in the fact that I can get through this and deal with the mess as it comes rather then guess at it.

I am not however really looking forward to having to explain all this to people who are already viewing me in a poor light. Nor do I feel like battling them to accept it.

To me that is a losing proposition.

I have been nothing but polite, social, and considerate. I have cooked for them even held events at my house welcoming each and every one.

Yet I am still the one who is selfish and controlling.

I am the bad person.

Whatever helps you sleep easier at night. I will just look elsewhere for people who like me as me.

It isn't my job to please everyone else anymore.

I need to worry about myself for a change.

2 comments:

Jerica Truax said...

I know the feeling and I have been there. =/ Keep your chin up. Glad you have a positive attitude about it. *hugs*

<3 Jerica

Stace said...

Sorry to hear about the comments - wishing you the best,
Stace