Monday, December 20, 2010

When the World Changes

This last Saturday I had the chance to go out.

Which I took full advantage of. 

The only issue I ran into was the fact I could not get a hold of any of my friends. 

So I did what I normally do in this situation I headed out to the usual haunt and hoped for the best. 

Now before I continue on with the rest of my story I should preface all this with some background information. 

My usual locale of entertainment was never my favorite place. 

Back when I didn't have a clue as to where to go when out I met my friend J in Atlanta. (This is my other friend J not the one I recently disclosed to.) She mentioned this gay bar near downtown that was trans friendly on Saturday nights and that she is usually there.

So being scared and uncertain back then I went.

From the moment I walked in there I knew I didn't really fit in with that scene. However it was all I had and it most definitely served its purpose. I gain a ton of confidence in just being able to step out of the house. It is also where I met B. So it wasn't all bad. It might have never been my favorite place but the experience and growth it allowed me has been invaluable.

Yet this last Saturday as I walked in I almost immediately felt that I didn't want to be there. Maybe it is because of all the time I have been spending with B and others recently doing different things. Going to other places and just opening my world up to more experiences. 

It certainly doesn't hurt that I am no longer uncomfortable being out and about. 

So after one drink, bumping into someone from my old support group I realized there was nothing there for me. 

My friends J and S weren't even there. 

So not knowing what else to do I tried to reach B one more time...

...and I got a reply!

A few text later and we established that his cousin C was in town for her birthday weekend and that they were going out to a industrial/goth club closer to the downtown area. He also asked if I wanted to come.

Well I didn't want to feel like I was tagging along so I asked if it was ok with everyone else. 

To which he sent the follow up text of: 'Hold on'

Two minutes later my phone was ringing. 


"Hey Ms. Kelli, C says to get your cute butt over here. She yelled at me for even asking if you could come. She said 'OMG!! Totally invite her she is so cool!!!' So are you coming?"

"Wow, yes I am so there!" 

"By the way, this is going to be a different kind of club. Not that I doubt you but what are you wearing?"

"Well I have a purple sweater dress and knee high boots."

"OMG you are in a dress? I have never seen you in one, that HAS to be hot!!! Anyways that should do fine."

"LOL ok are you going to give me directions?"

With that he proceed to explain how to get to them, it wasn't bad as they were only 15 minutes away.

Thus I quickly finished my one drink and off I went. 

Twenty minutes later I was walking into a hotel (the club is in a back basement and they rented a room upstairs to crash in afterward along with change in) to met up with the girls as B and the DJ (This is what I'll call C's BF as initials are just not cutting it much anymore.) had run out to get a quick bite while I was in route. Thus I entered the room and again met the wonderful C and her BFF Kitten(I'll dub her that since she wore this killer leopard print dress for the night). 

They chatted on and off with me as they finished getting ready. C super sweet as always and so wanting to hear what I had been up too. Kitten was being fussy getting ready but she did chat too.

Shortly after I got there B and DJ showed up and we all sat around chatting while the girls finished getting ready. 

It wasn't too long and down the elevator we went, as we had to leave the hotel walk around out back to get into the club.

We walked in paid cover and I checked my coat as I had on a below the knee black trench as the dress was short and it is darn cold out this time of year. When I turned around all four of them were staring at me. 

I swear they almost all said wow simultaneously. 

B came up took my arm and said; "Come on we'll get a drink and I will show you around. By the way, you look absolutely smoking hot!!"

I laughed at him and strolled into the club proper...

...and proceeded to have one of the best times in my entire life!

The club as an amazing mix of just about everything goth, fetish, gay, lesbian, bi, cos play, fetish, and a lot of just John Q. Public. In fact that was probably more than half the crowd.

The people watching was just off the charts, and while it was an industrial club it had a really relaxed mellow vibe to it. I also liked the fact that it was so big that the dance floor has a separate sound track from the bar area. 

Although the music was a little heavier in general then what I would listen to I am a big fan of electronic music and most definitely heard some cool new stuff. 

I had some amazing conversations with DJ, Kitten and C. I even challenged DJ on his being freaked out by Hello Kitty (a girl at the bar was wearing a back pack). I told him it is cute and who doesn't like kittens to which he replied 'me' but that it was how strangely it was drawn and the whole Japanese anime thing was just weird. I laughed at him and he wanted to know why? I told him I found it funny and ironic that he would be freaked out by that and not the two people clad entirely head to so in latex not twenty feet from us. 

He smirked at me and didn't have an answer. I had him, he knew it and admitted that it was a rather funny observation. 

Kitten even sat down next to me at one point and said told me she wanted to say something to me. 

"Kelli they told me about you before you came up just so I would know, but now having met you, talked to you and watched you here tonight. I just want to tell you that you are one amazing woman. You have great style but you carry yourself so well, you are so beautiful and sexy and OMG you are so naturally a girl. I am simply amazed by you. I think it is great and you are going to do just fine."

B was listening in and followed that up with "See I tell you this all the time."

I am starting to realize they are probably right. Since this was a mostly straight crowd I ended up turning down six attempts to get my phone number or have them give me theirs. Even more offers for drinks. Two flat out attempts to take me home and yet I still didn't mind it at all. I had such a good time, met some great people, that I stayed out until 3am before heading home.  

I got hugs all around from everyone as I was leaving before they were and when C asked me if I had a good time then thanked me for coming. I chided her telling her that it was me that needed to thank her for inviting me. She laughed and said ok, but would I be willing to come again? I responded that I would very much love to come again. She then informed me that I would so be told ahead of time before their next outing. 

I was looking forward to it before I even walked out the door. 

On my way home I realized just how much my life had changed that night. Never did I feel uncomfortable or worried. I simply was not worried about a thing. It amazes me how right my life feels. Now that the fear and trepidation are gone I just go and do. I also noticed that the old world I had been in had suddenly just become much less important to me. 

It served its purpose but that purpose is no longer there. 

Quite suddenly I have outgrown it and I am so much better for having done so.

Amazing how one night can change your world. 

I know mine has. 


Jessica Lyn said...

I'm so happy for you that you can finally enjoy your life by being you! I'm also very jealous, but hopefully my day will come too.

Glad you had a great night!

LeAnne said...

"...fear and trepidation are gone."

To have a burden, a weight if you will, lifted off of your shoulders. The whole world becomes a bit easier to live in.

Well done to you Kelli!!

Gina Lee said...

Hi Kelli! Welcome to the new life! I am so sure that this will be the new norm for you. When people meet you, they can't help being awed by your inner and your outer beauty! Like me! You have already succeeded. Congratulations, girl.