Thursday, December 16, 2010

Near Miss

So last week an engineer who recently left the company came back for a visit.

He is missed. Not only was he very smart and well respected, he was fun to have around and well liked.

Since he had that day off we all decided to go to lunch.

Now lately I haven't being going out with the boys for lunch anymore. I have gotten reclusive for a reason.

So here we are sitting at a long table. I am at one end and the waitress is moving around the table taking orders.

She finishes with the coworker next to me, turns to me and says.

"And what can I get you miss?"


I quickly glance around the table to see if anyone was paying attention.

As they were mostly busy chatting rather loudly about things. (They are men what do you expect?)

No one seemed to notice. I am also probably fortunate that she was standing next to me saying it in my ear rather then shouting it across the table.

I'll never know for sure if it was heard or not but I did not see any indication that it was.

Mostly because I know with this group there are more than a few of them that would have a field day if they ever heard me addressed like that.

That might change later, but it would be the subject of many a joke for now.

Not to mention around here they like to poke fun at something for an extended period of time.

It just isn't something I am ready to deal with right now.

However it appears my days of lunch trips with the group have quickly come to an end.


Melissa said...

If you are being addressed as Miss by waitresses when out for lunch in male mode, them I'm sure the males you work with are well aware of your feminine appearance, and are already talking among themselves about you. What surprises me, is that they haven't yet begun to talk to you about it.

Melissa XX

LeAnne said...

Men are not like that Melissa.

They will not addresse a situation such as this for the simple reason, it's too uncomfortable. It would be much easier to tease, belittle, and humiliate a person than try and understand an uncomforable situation. Which normally is easily ignored.

And really, seeing Kelli's side on this? The threat of constant harassment from the men is a good enough reason to let it be.

Kelli, it's a double edged sword some times, eh?

One side, being seen as female from another female is fantastic!!

The other side, men can be such *&^$#@#$&*@! when given a chance.

You are making some great decisions there Kelli. Of course, you knew that!

Kelli Bennett said...

I am going to have to side with LeAnne on this one. I know that is what they do since I learned to do it myself to fit in. Plus I have a silly and sarcastic sense of humor.

My friend J is the same way. We have an almost identical sense of humor. The difference between us and they boys is they generally don't know when to stop. That and they get pretty ruthless.

Viv said...

Actually, I welcome that kind of teasing from my friends/co-workers. Since I am not yet out, having them remind me, even teasingly, of "that time when that waitress called you Miss" is a small mental victory. Not the same as them directly calling me Miss, but close enough to sort of feel good about it.