Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fading into the mist.

So I had my 5th and probably final laser treatment this last Tuesday.

That is going really well. Anything left will be lighter or gray hairs that will probably need electrolysis to remove.

I already set an appointment in six weeks and she will evaluate me then to determine the exact course of action.

At least it has made a huge different and I am looking forward to clearing out anything left.

However all that isn't the reason I am posting about it.


The truly interesting part of this story is that I had not, up to this point, told her about me.

I'm not sure why.

I guess my fear is I never know how a stranger will react when I tell them. So I had kept quiet until I had gotten to know her better.

This last visit however I must have been showing my thoughts on my sleeve Tuesday because she pinned me down about what was going on.

She even tried to tell me that to start the story because she already had an idea what the ending was.

That caught me off gaud. I was wondering what she thought but with that in mind I let the cat out of the bag.

So after I told her I was transgendered. She stopped and looked at me and said:

"Yep I knew that."

"You did?"

"Yes the first time you walked in here it was obvious to me."

(note: I have only been able to go to the clinic immediately after work, including my original consult. So I have never been anything but in boy mode when there.)

"Really I was that obvious?"

"Oh yes, your mannerisms, how you talk, the way carry yourself, it was obviously clashing against your appearance."

I didn't think I was that obvious, really. I am wondering if it is the fact that I put so much effort into it at work to be him I that I am just getting tired of it and after my typical long drive in he car I just let him go. At least some of him, just to get a mental break for it all.

I am not sure but obviously I am bleeding through.

Still she was super supportive and even mentioned that there is a support group that meets inside the same office park once a month. Not sure if I will go or not, but the thought was appreciated.

I am just surprised that I am showing through so badly. I can't help but wonder that people who know me as him are thinking.

It's ponderous, really ponderous.


Melissa said...

You reach a point where it becomes pretty hard to hide it anymore. Having your facial hair removed is a pretty good sign that you are trans. I mean how many cis-men have you known, that had their beards completely removed? She has probably worked on other transsexuals before, so she knew the score right away. I wouldn't be surprised if some of your coworkers have their suspicions too. :-)

Melissa XX

Jerica Truax said...
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