Monday, October 18, 2010

Expect the Unexpected

Transition is a very interesting process.

I am starting to really learn that first hand.

It really is rather surreal too. I have read a lot of accounts of other trans women and what happened during their transition. It is an odd feeling to be experiencing these types of things myself.

Now I am sure you all want to know what happened with my brother.

It was interesting and I am still not sure about it myself. I got a reaction I couldn't even have fathomed along with I am not sure exactly how he feels.

It wasn't bad just different.

As I mentioned he was in town and staying at my parents for the weekend. My Mom and I got him to agree to dinner Sunday night with the plan to be me telling him afterward.

This took an interesting twist in itself.

When I got to my parents they were attempting to but a winter cover over their new camper trailer. Quickly I got volunteered to help out.

Not a big deal as it was obvious they could use a hand.

Once we finished that little endeavor we went inside to clean up a bit so he and I could leave.

So while I was getting an explanation of where to go for dinner(as neither of use were that familiar with the area) my parents made the astounding suggestion that instead of just the two of us going, we would all go.


Quickly my Mom figured out the look on my face and quickly suggested that we take separate cars so they would leave after dinner and let my Brother and myself be.


Thus off we went.

For the most part dinner wasn't an issue, we discussed rather mundane things and events. Chatting like a family with no issues.

There was one problem though. The waitress kept ma'aming me. Three times to be exact.

"Can I get you two gentleman another beer? How about you two ladies anything else?)


"Miss would you like another iced tea?"


I would just ignore it and answer her question but I could see out of the corner of my eye Dad wasn't happy. Though thankfully he never said anything.

We finished up dinner without any major incidents and said goodbye to my Mom and Dad as we went down to the local waterfront to have a little chat.

After a few short minutes chatting about some more things. When after a moment of silence he looked at me as asked what was going on.

With that I started into my non-discloser message, covered the fact that he didn't have to understand it, like it or accept it, it was just something he had to know.

Then I explained what it was, cover all the basics and finish with a general statement about what was going to happen of the next 18-24 months.

At that point he was rather quiet.

He looked out over the water, looked back at me and quietly said that is wasn't up to him to tell me what I should or shouldn't do. That I felt that if this is what I needed to do and is what was going to make me happy then I needed to do it. Yet I was to remember that blood was thicker then water and that in his mind there I was always going to be, in part, his little brother.

Not at all something I would have guessed from him.

I can't say that was complete acceptance but it wasn't the end of the world either.

We did continue to talk about things me, my transition, even some things I learned about him. Something that surprised me since he is a notoriously private person.

After a bit it was getting late and I had a total of an hour an a half to get home. Part of which included getting him back to Mom and Dad's. We continued to talk on the drive home and when we reached the driveway, before we got out, he just told me I was still family but it would take him some time.

Overall I don't know if I can truly say it was positive but it definitely wasn't negative.

I had a long drive home after that which I then discussed a lot of this information with a good friend of mine while in the car.

I think that this point all I can say is I have gotten it done and can breathe a sigh of relief. As this one worried me more then others. Now I can continue moving forward with more steps that need to happen. They are a happening too, I just have had very little time to write about them.

Still knowing my Brother and his personality his calmness about it so far surprised me. It was indeed the unexpected.

All I can do know is see what the future holds between the two of us.


Jessica Lyn said...

It does seem your brother is taking it better than I think mine will. That being said, him needing some time just seems like maybe he's going to look it up or reflect on it before it makes up his mind.. but since he did say you're still family, then at least you know he still loves you and always will.

Like you said, its not great but its not bad either.. but he does seem to be better with it than your dad.

Have you talk to your mom since then? I'm guessing your brother must have talked about it with her.. or vice versa.