Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Party Crashing

A few weekends ago I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with B.

Before I continue, since I have had a few people ask, the answer is no.


Oh! You want to know what the question is that people were asking.

Well what is the fun in that? Really, I think it would be more fun to leave you hanging.


Ok, ok, I'll spill. Sheesh you are a tough crowd.

No, B and I are not an item, nor will we ever date. He is simply an amazing friend who I love to spend time with. I love the boy to pieces but he is more like my older little brother. If that makes any sense. I hope it does because I am not sure I can explain it.

You have read the stories, you know how wonderful and amazing he has been. He is just one of my closest and best friends.

I just wanted to make that clear because this post is about the day he put that to the test.

That got your attention didn't it?

Don't worry we are fine I still think the world of him but I did not appreciate what he did.

It happened the weekend I mentioned a bit here.{link}

I bet you are dying to know what possibly he could have done.

This is what took place. That Saturday night we agreed to go out. This time however he mentioned heading over to a smaller local town that was having an arts and craft fair. This totally sounded like fun and he even mentioned we were going to met up with a few people I knew.

Sounded good so far.

Now this is a somewhat upper middle class town that fancies it self somewhat elite. Well it is a nice little town but I live near what would be call the affluent area and they have a long way to go. Yet it is still a nice place to visit.

The art and craft show was arrange in there 'downtown' area considering this is more of a suburban area this made it rather small. It was still rather nice and was a welcome change of pace for part of the evening.

The interesting part came at the start. After getting there and trying to locate a parking spot, B lead me to a corner restaurant/bar. There we ran into his ex(whom I will label Ex from here on out.)

As I know I have mentioned the Ex was always confused about his sexuality. Kept his straight friends separate from his gay ones. I also find him to be a rather unpleasant person and not the sharpest tool in the shed. My other qualm is that I feel he lead B on for over a year into thinking this was going to be a lasting relationship. Then suddenly breaking up.

The reason?

So Ex could return to dating women.

Yep, I kid you not.

It was ugly, he wasn't nice and frankly as I am sure you all know I didn't really care for him. Well that opinion hasn't changed one bit. In fact he just re-enforced it with this ordeal.

Now I wouldn't say we ran into Ex casually. B knew he was there, I didn't mind too much until I found out why Ex was there. He was on a double date with one of his straight friends with too women.

Can you say awkward?

I took me all of five seconds to figure out what was going on. Ex didn't want to talk with us. He didn't want to introduce us and he was obviously unhappy B was there. I don't know if I was an issue but I didn't really care. The whole situation was uncomfortable and it was plain obvious to me we were intruding.

I was under the impression we were meeting a group of people that included Ex but not this.

I somehow manage to get B to walk the fair with me but he rushed through it(considering it was only three blocks it wasn't very big). We came back and the whole situation was still cold and uncomfortable. After about five minutes of this I informed B I was ready to go. Thankfully he listened.

When we got back to my car I gave him an earful.

"B, you have been a amazing and dear friend, but if you ever put me in a situation like that again I am going to be really pissed at you. That was borderline stalkerish and you need to either come to terms with it or move on. Trans issues aside it was so not cool to drag me into it. Don't ever do that to me again."

He did apologize and we ended up still enjoying the rest of our evening. I did however greatly test our friendship. He can be hung up on it if he wants. I can't fix it for him, all I can do is be a good friend. He just need to not involve me when he does it.

When we spent time with C the next day she totally had my back about the whole thing.

"B, Kelli has enough drama in her life she doesn't need to be a part of that. Especially not knowing what was going on. That is awkward for anyone you brought along. I would have been just as pissed at you had you involved me like that. She has been a tremendous friend to you and she doesn't deserved that."

"Second, you need to deal with your issue with Ex. I don't know why you are hung up on him so much but it needs to be addressed or something bad is going to happen. These things happen in relationship we all need to address them, but I don't want to hear you let something happen to her because you were being foolish. You need to grow up about this."

I love C, she rocks! He did apologize again and we discussed the problem for a bit before moving on.

Is the problem solved? I don't know but I haven't seen Ex since and that is a good thing.

Now was I read in that situation? I have nothing to indicate that I was. In fact one of the women I met seemed to be rather upset that Ex's friend started to give me some attention. Not that I asked for it. At least no one said anything and there wasn't a scene. Regardless I didn't need to be in that situation in the first place. Trans or not.

B and I are fine but it was a moment where he tested me and I just didn't appreciate it. Everyone is entitled to their relationship, ex drama. Just don't take someone along as an unknowing participant.

That isn't fair to that person.