Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Don't cross the streams!

One person out there is going to find that really funny.

Everyone should get a chuckle out of it.

However it is very fitting.

This last weekend I had four days to myself.

All to myself.

I could do whatever I wanted.

So I thought.

Granted I did have a lot of fun being myself for a change, but thinking I had no limitations on my time was folly at best.

I simply found the two halves of my life clashing.

Getting in the way of each other.

Certain obligations came up that I had to do as him.

I still got time as myself.

Plenty of time.

But I switched back and forth far more then I cared too.

Or wanted.

I was basically crossing the streams.

And if you were a little fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing.

That is bad.

At one point I nearly thought I was going to lose it.

You know, flip out, go off the deep end.

I was straining not to just break down and cry.

This weekend I think cause me to think about how much living Option #2 sucks.

I really, really don't want to do that anymore.

Regardless, I still had a very good time this weekend, spent time with some new friends, saw some old ones, and generally when I could I enjoyed 'myself' immensely.

Then considering the messiness of the weekend, progress moving forward helped a lot too. Monday I resumed hair removal from a few key places. And even though it hurt it felt good to know I was doing something to advance.

Lastly I have the Decision post, done, finished, kaput. It is long and I think covers it the subject quite well. But it light of the things that happened this past weekend I hesitated. I'm not sure why, exactly. I am still trying to figure that one out. I figured I'd give myself a few days to think about it and see what happens. I just want to make sure I wasn't rushing it or if it was just general exasperation at everything that occurred.

Time will tell.


Rebecca said...

You're busting me up with those movie references, sweetie! Sorry to hear you were near tears thru the weekend. Wish you had called!!! I'm looking forward to reading your looong post. xoxo