Friday, May 3, 2013

The Lost Scrolls

I have a story to tell but I ran into a small issue.

I cannot find the prior post that I thought I had written about a friend of mine.

I found the original post where I had to talk with him early in my transition that produced some interesting comments.

Followed up by a conversation after he tried to offer me a position working for him.  Which caused more than a few sleepless nights.

Not because  I did not want or was not going to disclose to him. Rather it was the fact that I did not feel comfortable being a consultant on the road having to deal with clients, while transitioning.

I just did not feel I wanted to "explain" it to anymore more people than I had to.

That whole scenario was avoided when a large project that I had designed and got the chance to implement came to be.

Now I swear I wrote a post about the time I disclosed to him shortly before I went full time. For the life of me I cannot find it.

I looked through all my post archives. Scoured every post I had post or even written but not up on the site. I think I may have even burned out the search feature on my site.

I can recall writing it.


Where it went I have no idea.

I guess I need to explain.

No, there is too much let me sum up.

Racer(as I will call him as that is his hobby. Not kidding he has a heavily modified Mitsubishi Lancer Evo that he takes around the area for various weekend events and races in friendly competitions.) had long been wondering what was going on with me.

So shortly before I was going to start full time I finally managed to get our schedule so sync enough to have the "talk" with him.

I had to do it in his garage as he was in the process of changing out his racing seats for new ones. (There was some issue with how the others fit and they were causing him issues.)

Not a big deal as I know my way around things, granted i was not in charge of this, more I was just a glorified helper. Holding things in place, and tightening a nut or two. Generally being an extra set of hands.

This allowed for some extended time to talk about things. Which was funny because he actually guessed what I was going to tell him.

I kid you not.

I started my usual highly personal speech, digression for the time being would be appreciated, etc,. etc. Then, just before I got into the issue, he interrupted me.

"Can I take a guess at what this is?"

I was a little shocked but said "Sure."

"Okay, either you are getting a divorce or, and this is totally a wild ass guess, you are having a sex change."

I could not help but laugh, he was the only one ever to take a stab at it.

I explained to him that it was both. That my marriage long ago had failed but finances had force the delay of it happening. Also that the main reason I was there to talk to him was that yes indeed  was having a sex change.

(I found out that during the discussion that the day he told me I looked like a little boy he was already thinking I was looking more like a girl. Also that when I showed up on this day to tell he it was even more apparent. Which would be true as I was two months away from full time.)

I gave him the usual summary and a bit of data, then left the floor open for question. Which knowing him I would get a lot and I did.

Good questions, curiosity questions, even a few odd ones(that is just who he is).

I ended up being there for almost five hours as we talked about it, and all sorts of things that we had not caught up on in prior years. Also there were pauses as we worked on the car.

Still is was an incredible disclosure and in close competition with my disclosing to Professor in the best ones that I have had. For different reasons.

At the end he told me that while it would take a him a while to adjust to it that I would still be considered a friend. That as long as I was happy he had no issue with it. He understood the pursuit of personal happiness and the desire to be yourself.

He also stated that if work proved to be an issue that even if he could not hire me full time right then, he could offer me contract work for sure.

Which that I got a hug and said goodbye with the promise of getting together in the near future.

Which did not quite happen right away.

It ended up happening nearly eighteen months later...

...that brings me to the story I wanted to tell.


Cassidy said...

I can't recall reading the missing post you described, for what that is worth.

I also had one friend who knew before I told him. He couldn't explain it; he just knew.

Nearly everyone else I've told reacted as my therapist predicted; she said they will be "shocked but not surprised."

Can't wait to read what comes next, hon!