Center of the Universe

I am starting to wonder if B is conducting social experiments with me.

Just a thought mind you. He has, as mentioned in the past, been very supportive and good at challenging me to face my fears and work forward.

Case in point this last Saturday.

After playing phone tag all afternoon we decided to get together for the evening.

The issue was we didn't know where we were meeting yet. As I was on my way to get an early dinner and he was still at his moms. So I told him that I would eat, go home feed the dogs and start getting ready and that I would call him when I was close to being ready to going out.

Shush you, I don't take that long, in fact between a quick bite to eat, feeding the dogs, changing, I was calling him an hour and fifteen later almost ready to go.

At this point he informed me that we would be meeting at his ex's new apartment.

Ugh.

Now as you might recall I am not a fan of B's ex. Quite frankly I think he is an asshole. I know strong language from me but honestly I cannot stand him. I think he has used and taken advantage of B. It isn't often I don't like people or at least tolerate them, but this man is just what I said he is. There have been numerous occasions I have wanted to tell him off, slap him or worse. You really have to be extraordinarily irritating or such to get me that upset.

Really!

I always try to not to judge people and generally give them the benefit of doubt when meeting them. I have met some great people that way. In all shapes and sizes. Even if the person isn't what I would call interesting or engaging I usually am still polite and friendly toward them. It takes a special type of person to get on my nerves almost immediately and continue to stay that way.

They were still living together but that will end in just two weeks. Can't happen fast enough if you ask me.

However B just wanted to see how bad of an apartment it was. I also knew we weren't staying long so I was just going to grin and bear it for a short bit.

Now I quickly finished getting myself together, grabbed my things and was out the door twenty minutes later.

I feel it is important to note that B and I were intending to do a little bar hopping and that I was dressed simply but for that. Which meant a nice pair of jeans a striped top and heels.

The intriguing part is I was wearing white.

I totally have a love hate relationship with white. I love the color, I love how it looks on me, and I love to wear it. However I hate how it is inevitable that I get something on it ruining the item. No matter how careful I try to be.

Grrr.

So I don't wear it often.

Yet here I was in white jeans. So I said a little prayer as I went out the door.

Halfway there B calls me to let me know that he is there and they his ex has a few friends over. I ask him if I should be worried and he says no, I'll be fine, but if I was uncomfortable with the idea we could skip it.

I told him that I would be ok with it and I knew we were not staying long so I wasn't totally panicked.

I've had this attitude at times lately that I shrug my shoulders and say 'what the heck' as it is one way to find out what the world thinks.

{Editor's note: I should explain here that in the past I never had a problem of meeting new people but I was always very shy and quiet as I was introduced. I gave my polite greetings and then sat back and tried to gauge the conversation. However it would take a long time for me to feel any type of comfort and I was usually always considered quiet even thought I really wasn't or at least didn't want to be. 

Thus is the issue when you are not being yourself. You aren't the life of the party or command a room. Fear of saying the wrong things to new people caused me to just not say much.}

B greeted me at my car when I got there to walk me in and promptly said as I got out of the car that I needed to wear white more often. I laughed at him because I had previously told him about my issues with white.

His response: "Lol whatever you make those jeans look good."

As we walked in B informed me that there were three guys in there but they were harmless. I assumed this meant that they were his ex's gay friends.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I was not expecting what happened. I did handle it well, but from the moment I walked into the room I was the center of their universe. For once in my life I didn't have to figure out how to start the conversation with someone it just happened.

Because they were three straight men who suddenly had an attractive woman in the room.

And was I ever the center of attention. The entire time I was there I was chatted with. Even when B and I moved out onto the porch they followed a few short minutes later.

I just smiled, talked a bit about myself, was a little witty, laughed, and surprised them a bit with my intelligence. The nifty part is the conversation just rolled off my tongue and I felt natural and relaxed. I didn't worry about what I was saying I was simply just me.

B and I made our getaway after about forty-five or so minutes. I don't think my foot had hit the ground as I was getting out at our first destination when B was right there already laughing about it.

"OMG! They were all over you! They couldn't take their eyes off of you!"

"I know B."

He was right. Even though at times I was standing a few paces away from B, if he asked them a question they were still staring at me, while answering him!

He even told me that when he went in to use the bathroom, one of the guys had already gone in to get another drink, stopped B and started playing twenty questions with him about me.

Was I single? How did I know B? Was I looking to date? Etc.

"Kelli he thought you were the hottest thing ever. In fact he was trying to talk himself into going gay bar hopping with us because you would be there and he is straight!"

The whole scene was rather funny. They all found it odd I was going bar hoping with B. I simply explained it that I get bothered less at a gay bar and that I wasn't looking to meet anyone. I just wanted to have fun. B being single and such a good friend I didn't mind. Most of the place B takes me to are fairly tame. Besides they play good music and I always meet some interesting people.

I am just glad that I was able to be myself, my own hair, my voice, my clothes, my face, and most importantly my full personality and was so well received. I was never uncomfortable once.

I was so at ease with myself in that moment.

The whole night was great, I always have fun with B, but that little adventure starting off the night was just interesting and surreal. I thoroughly enjoyed not having to think about how to be and just was.

And the absolute best part of the whole night?

I made it through the entire night without ever getting anything on my white jeans!

Woo-hoo!!