Tuesday, September 22, 2009

'My Gay'

and other antidotes overheard in the ladies bathroom.

This last Saturday I wanted to get out. As you all know(at least I hope you do) I don't live my life full time in the correct gender.

(Don't worry there are hurdles to overcome but these I have learned will take time. Patience grasshopper.)

So I took the time to put myself together and enjoy an evening out. I also have made a few friends who are regular attendees so there is always someone to talk to.

Now I kept it simple, I simply had on some flattering jeans, cute asymmetrical purple top, and some cute black strappy heels.

Again it has never been about the clothes for me. I can do flash and styling or jeans and a tee if I wanted, but in an effort to find a comfort zone with what I see in the mirror to what I feel in my head, I do keep them feminine.

(Remember I am trying to override what nature has done to me without over compensating. I just want to see the right reflection in the mirror cause when I do everything seems right with the world.)

All in all it was a good evening, did some dancing, ran into number of friends, and just enjoyed being myself with no thoughts or cares in the world. Along with not having to worry that the world might be offended by my presence.

I simply get to be me and not worry about anything else.

Now to the reason for this post was at one point in the night I had to use the ladies room. I mean come on, we are all human beings no matter what the gender. We have all have deal with nature calling.

But as I was in there doing my business I got to over hear a conversation between a cisgender girl and a Trans (I didn't know this person so won't comment on their status, i.e. she could have just been someone who labels themselves as a crossdresser. So I will use it as a blanket label for this discussion.)

The cis girl spoke up and asked, polite, "Can I ask you a question?" To which the reply was yes.

So she then asks something along the lines of, why do you dress up like this, why do you do it at all? I cannot recall the exact words since I was a little preoccupied at the time. (Really I had to pee, sheesh!)

The response was a little muted so as best I could make out exactly what the trans person's reply was. I think she said something along the lines of she like to do it, plus she sometimes felt this is who she really was. But that it was only a part time thing for her.

To which the Cis girl replied came out along the lines of "Oh so you get all the benefits of being a girl without having to put up with the hormones."

Now I am not sure what to think about this statement. Really I don't. Is it the emotional thing? I've always had my emotions on and running around in my head. Most people would have said I was an overly emotional/sensitive man. But I learned to hide them. To hold them back and wait until I had a private moment to let them release. I can't say I always succeeded but I got good at it. Not to mention that to me, honestly, that is more painful and self destructive then letting them out and having people tease you about it.

So there I was in the potty eaves dropping on this conversation, pondering the very question when her (cis) had her phone ring. To which she declared: "Oh this is my Gay!"

My Gay?

Now I am not clueless I am aware quite a few woman have a gay friend. From what I have been told they like the idea that they can talk to a man and not feel the pretentiousness of a straight guy who might only be listening to them to get somewhere with the girl in question. I know this appeals to me as well since I hang out in largely gay environment. Trust me if I have learned anything on the other side of the fence is that men really, really, really don't know how to approach women. Or even have a conversation with them.

But the idea of having your own pocket gay or sounding so possessive about him? Really? He is a person. Not your puppie dog or something else like that. Do they come with papers?

I'm not trying to make fun of gay people at all here. I am just trying to give you an idea of what she sounded like to me.

It blew my mind.

It was at this point I decided to finish up my business, wash my hands and get out of dodge. I really wanted to not partake in this conversation. It just sounded like something I didn't want to get involved with.

But it is amazing what you overhear in there. ;)


Rebecca said...

My first thought, when you mentioned the girls first question to the T, was that she was another of these uneducated people who are curious about "the freaks". Her comment about the hormones confirmed that for me - she really didn't get it at all. But, her "gay" nailed the point home. This wasn't a girl who was a friend to anybody, but rather someone who collects "friends", likely of different "types" as status symbols. Good thing to escaped her evil clutches lol