Dinner with Mom: The Return

I am fairly sure I mentioned that I am now having dinner with my Mom once a month.

Last night was another one of those.

We talked about all types of things, being trans, how I present myself to the world, SCC, my fabulous friend some old and some new.

We even discussed my upcoming FFS surgery.

I am working with a Doctor in Boston to figure out financing options for it right now along with schedule. I have been talking to my boss about extended time off in February (or March) of next year. My goal is to use personal and vacation time so I don't exhaust either completely. As this particular event will require the most time off right now.

So it is mostly up in the air as to when exactly, I am trying to have that settled by the end of October.

My Mom, however told me rather matter of fact, that I will not be going alone. She would pay her airfare and meals, but she was not going to let me be by myself through this.

She was starting to push a bit on certain topics and bringing up some things that probably didn't need to be discussed. Which is when I had to get her off those topics.

I have also been told that my Brother is in the process of moving to a new location. So I am to hold of telling him just yet while they get him moved and resettled. Early November is what we are looking at right now. I was already warned this was coming so it wasn't really a surprise.

We also had to deal with my obnoxious older sister who felt it was necessary to make her presence known with a few texts while I was with Mom. She is always so jealous of the fact that mom likes me better.

(No she isn't my real sister, just my adopted one. She knows who she is and I still love her dearly. The texts were actually super sweet and cute. If a little snotty.)

It was actually kind of nice as my mom read what she wrote along with gave me something to reply with.

Texting is not one of my Mom's strong points.

We talked about my Dad and how it will be a slow process but Mom hopes that once he see who I really am it might open him up a little faster. We don't know, but understand this could take some serious time.

What really surprised me was how much she knew something was going on for years. We really dug into that and I was shocked how much she wanted me to come out with whatever it was that was bothering me. She just didn't see me as happy anymore.

Interesting footnote, I met her for dinner right after work so I was in so called boy mode. I got ma'am the entire time I was with her and mom didn't even flinch.

It was a productive talk and while I still have to be careful with mom, it is nice to have one parent supporting me and willing to talk.

I don't feel so alone anymore.

My New Addiction

Well maybe it isn't something new. Maybe more of a new way to lose myself in it.

Besides reading, decorating, shoes and clothing, along with music, my other passion is cooking.

Yeah, I know how can the skinny girl like food so much and still look like I do.

One word. Leftovers!

Don't eat it all in one sitting.

Now I don't watch a whole lot of television. I have a small handful of shows I do watch but for the most part I just don't sit down and do it.

I have however found a new way to feed my cooking addiction and waste time in front of the TV.

Not good.

The last thing I want to do is become a couch potato and end up putting all that hard fought weight loss back on.

Diligence will be key here.

So will the treadmill and a lot of walking. :D

But what has me excited?

The Food Network which has some of my favorite shows, Good Eats (Alton Brown is the absolute best!!), Grill it with Bobby Flay (Great show he actually grills with real people and focuses on a style or recipe that they are famous for.), Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee. (She has some awesome shortcuts.) Everyday Italian with Giada Delaurentiis. (ok so I love Italian food. I do make my own homemade sauce.)

Not to mention Iron Chef is always a fun watch, though I seem to prefer the older Japanese version. Still they are both good.

However they seem to have dropped a lot of the good primetime cooking shows in favor or the reality ones. Chopped, Chef vs City, Cupcake wars, The next food network star, etc.

These are just not my cup of tea. I want to see people teaching me how to cook. Dedicated to adding ideas and new techniques to what I already know.

The network did something great however. They started the Cooking Channel.

And I love it!!!!!

It has the shows I want to see, Tyler Florence is easy to find again. Rachel Allen: Bake! (OMG one of my new favorite shows!!!) Chucks Day Off (I really like what he cooks). Jamie Oliver's Jamie at home. And a cool concept with Ask Aida with Aidia Mollenkamp. Where they take view mail and answer questions while cooking.

There was a girl who was doing an interesting Mexican show but I didn't catch the name and I haven't been able to find it again.

It has gotten bad though, I have it on almost daily. It was about all I watched in the background this last Sunday as I roasted a chicken for the week along with made a strawberry rhubarb cobbler with homemade whipped cream.

Yeah that last one isn't diet friendly so I don't make it very often and I share.

That and it will be salads all week for lunch. :D

One thing I learned is I will have to invest in an immersion blender one of these days.

Still I hope this channel can get enough ratings to stay a float as I absolutely love it.

For those that don't have a TV system that broadcast this channel, I also highly recommend the quarterly publication Cooks Illustrated. Excellent source of recipes and information. The fantastic part is they cover not only the details of a recipe but how they arrived at it. Meaning if they were unsure of how to make it, they discuss the process they went through to achieve what they wanted to make. Even talking about the missteps.

This gives you a lot of insight of what to do and not to do. The other great part is they often have several alternate versions of the same recipe in case you cannot find certain ingredients in your area or maybe don't have all the equipment on hand.

It is well worth the investment for those that love to cook.

Did I mention yet that I do?

One of These is Not Like the Others

Following along many of you should know that I am not full time yet.

In fact I spend most of my time in boy mode sadly.

The hard part about that fact is how much harder it has become.

I mean really, my hair is starting to touch my shoulders. I have no facial hair anymore or at least at all visible. So I do a lot with clothing. As for my hair I part it in the middle and try to blow dry it to sweep back over my ears. Though it does hang a little loose. I hate using too much gel to plaster it down.

Plus it isn't long enough yet to effectively wear it in a pony tail pulled back. Close but not quite.

Add in how much my face has softened and changed I can only imagine what other are thinking.

What does all this have to do with this post?

I am about to tell you.

It deals with the men's room.

I have never really been comfortable with public ones. Yet nature is going to call. Especially when you are on Spironolactone and wanting to...well...go a LOT!! (It has been the only negative side affect I have experienced.)

Fortunately here at work I am on the first floor of the auxiliary building.

Which means other then the datacenter, small cafeteria, lobby and conference rooms, the only people on this level is the IT department.

Which is only twenty people. Oh, and the security desk.

Meaning I can get in and out quickly doing my business and generally not have to encounter anyone.

I might hate going in there but I would rather take care of things then do anything else.

Even if I get company it is someone from the department and nothing really happens.

Today though we had an incident.

I had gone in to do my business, was finished, had washed my hands, and was drying them. Before I could leave, what I can only describe as a building visitor walked in. Now when you come in you head to either the left to the sink (where I was) or right to the commodes. He glanced to his left, saw me. Which caused it to jump with his eyes popping out of his head. Leading to the following exchange.

"OMG!! Have I walked into the ladies room?"

(Now I was startled, though I realized quite quickly what was going on)

"Um, no you are in the right one."

(Looking at me again.)

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, quite sure."

I started going for the door. (I was done at this point.)

"Wow that hair and face...(he was looking around the other corner at this point obviously trying to make sure he was indeed in the right washroom.)

"Yeah, I get that a lot, but you are in the right one."

Said as I headed out the door. I really didn't want to stick around any longer and hopefully he relaxed. I would hate to see him out of sorts with his meeting or whatever while he was there.

I guess this confirms what others have said to me lately about my so called boy mode. Including my therapist. That I am really not passing very well as a boy.

A reaction like this, however was a first.

Life is becoming really interesting.