Coming Up For Air

Wow I am behind.

Really.

Far.

Behind.

So far behind in fact that this statement is probably now true:

"I was put on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."

I have a ton of things to catch up on and yet no time to do so.

Life post full time has become just that.

Busy.

It is almost as if my life was put on hold all these years and all of a sudden I am moving at fast forward speeds.

No it isn't perfect. Nor did I get a ticker tape parade or a unicorn.

(I have this sneaking suspicion that the reason why is in the handbook, but since I never got my copy of that...)

I am however slowly loosing my anxiety and actually enjoying being me.

For example.

Readers who have been following me for a while know I am a skier.

As in downhill.

With snow.

This year I made the effort to go when I was able to before other things took place and I would not be able to.

To put it simply I never have enjoyed skiing so much. I was relaxed, comfortable and all day long even bundled in warm ski garb, I got; 'have a great day miss' from the chair lift attendants.

It boggles my mind at times that I get this of response. Though there is no giggle or surge of excitement. Really it just feels right and the more I hear it the more I relax.

Still I have to temper this with the fact that my state police department 'lost' my background check.

See I told it hasn't all been warm and fuzzies.

Seems when I called the court house to find out what was happening with my name change, I was informed they never got the background check that I sent to the state police.

(I don't know if it is required in all the other states but I know it is true with most. To change your name these days you have to file the petition, get your fingerprints taken, send that off to the state police to have them and the FBI do a background check. Then the courts have to make a public announcement 30 prior to the change. After all that you get a court date and you know the rest.)

After I called the state police, I was informed they never got my request.

O_o

Really?

Thankfully at home I had the postal service delivery confirmation along with a copy of the cashed check.

After an afternoon in voice mail purgatory the court house went to bat for me and called themselves. Finally my request was 'found' and a new copy being mailed out the court house. Because the last one was 'lost'.

Whatever.

At least it is all moving forward and I should be able to change my name in about four weeks.

I also had to come out to some extended family right before the holidays. Which proved both good and bad. (I am going to tell the story in a different post.)

I am sure what everyone wants to hear is work.

Well here I am four weeks later and I am still alive and still employed.

What you think I wasn't?

Shame on you.

Yes, the first few weeks were nerve racking but at the same time I knew it had to be done.

I haven't had one single bad reaction. At least publicly.

I have gotten a lot of support. Several hugs from the female population.

My favorite response had been from the facility manager. She and I were in the small lunch room in this building and she walked up to me and said this:

"Kelli I get it now. You look far better as a woman than you ever did as a man. I for one am jealous you look as good as you do, but you are going to do great! Love it and good luck!"

This was said to me on my second day back.

It was a bumpy start but the nerves settled and more than a few co-workers have said I look far happier and more relaxed.

Yes there has been some pronoun slippage but they always catch themselves and I know it will take some time.

So I am not running to HR every day. That was never my intention.

I even have had a few offers to go to lunch with people and I have been able to accept a few of those already.

It as been very positive thus far and I do hope it continues.

I do hope to have some time to post in the near future. I have things I want to cover and some items I need to get off my conscience.

Just be patient. All good things come to those who wait.