The Lost Scrolls

I have a story to tell but I ran into a small issue.

I cannot find the prior post that I thought I had written about a friend of mine.

I found the original post where I had to talk with him early in my transition that produced some interesting comments.

Followed up by a conversation after he tried to offer me a position working for him.  Which caused more than a few sleepless nights.

Not because  I did not want or was not going to disclose to him. Rather it was the fact that I did not feel comfortable being a consultant on the road having to deal with clients, while transitioning.

I just did not feel I wanted to "explain" it to anymore more people than I had to.

That whole scenario was avoided when a large project that I had designed and got the chance to implement came to be.

Now I swear I wrote a post about the time I disclosed to him shortly before I went full time. For the life of me I cannot find it.

I looked through all my post archives. Scoured every post I had post or even written but not up on the site. I think I may have even burned out the search feature on my site.

I can recall writing it.

*sigh*

Where it went I have no idea.

I guess I need to explain.

No, there is too much let me sum up.

Racer(as I will call him as that is his hobby. Not kidding he has a heavily modified Mitsubishi Lancer Evo that he takes around the area for various weekend events and races in friendly competitions.) had long been wondering what was going on with me.

So shortly before I was going to start full time I finally managed to get our schedule so sync enough to have the "talk" with him.

I had to do it in his garage as he was in the process of changing out his racing seats for new ones. (There was some issue with how the others fit and they were causing him issues.)

Not a big deal as I know my way around things, granted i was not in charge of this, more I was just a glorified helper. Holding things in place, and tightening a nut or two. Generally being an extra set of hands.

This allowed for some extended time to talk about things. Which was funny because he actually guessed what I was going to tell him.

I kid you not.

I started my usual highly personal speech, digression for the time being would be appreciated, etc,. etc. Then, just before I got into the issue, he interrupted me.

"Can I take a guess at what this is?"

I was a little shocked but said "Sure."

"Okay, either you are getting a divorce or, and this is totally a wild ass guess, you are having a sex change."

I could not help but laugh, he was the only one ever to take a stab at it.

I explained to him that it was both. That my marriage long ago had failed but finances had force the delay of it happening. Also that the main reason I was there to talk to him was that yes indeed  was having a sex change.

(I found out that during the discussion that the day he told me I looked like a little boy he was already thinking I was looking more like a girl. Also that when I showed up on this day to tell he it was even more apparent. Which would be true as I was two months away from full time.)

I gave him the usual summary and a bit of data, then left the floor open for question. Which knowing him I would get a lot and I did.

Good questions, curiosity questions, even a few odd ones(that is just who he is).

I ended up being there for almost five hours as we talked about it, and all sorts of things that we had not caught up on in prior years. Also there were pauses as we worked on the car.

Still is was an incredible disclosure and in close competition with my disclosing to Professor in the best ones that I have had. For different reasons.

At the end he told me that while it would take a him a while to adjust to it that I would still be considered a friend. That as long as I was happy he had no issue with it. He understood the pursuit of personal happiness and the desire to be yourself.

He also stated that if work proved to be an issue that even if he could not hire me full time right then, he could offer me contract work for sure.

Which that I got a hug and said goodbye with the promise of getting together in the near future.

Which did not quite happen right away.

It ended up happening nearly eighteen months later...

...that brings me to the story I wanted to tell.

In The Shadows

Every once and a while something happens or I catch something out of the corner of my eye that brings a smile to my face of how worth it this all was for me.

Or even sparks a little moment of "wow, I love being me and where I am at now."

Before I tell you what it was, a bit of history.

Last fall, somewhere around late October or early November, I started running.

I had not done so with any regularity since HS. I did stopped after knee trouble and switched to cycling.

It started with both the BF and I wanting to get into better shape. Plus we have been toying with the idea of a co-ed adult recreational soccer league.

He played Varsity in HS and I as a child, plus intramural in HS along with pickup for a few years after.

It, however, has been a while for both of us.

Thus we started running.

Together as often as our schedules allow. Which is what I really enjoy, but also on our own to keep getting in shape.

I have been running pretty steadily since then, most of the time five days a week. Even in the snow and cold weather(though I have not been out when it has been below zero like some. /wink)

Still it has been dark or getting dark most of the time I have been out, since I go running usually right after work during the week. Plus with all the gloomy weather here in the Midwest I have been out on a lot of cloudy overcast days.

Which brings me to a very recent weekend.

I was out running and it was actually a nice day. Fairly warm with a cool breeze with very few clouds in the sky.

The noticeable difference was the late afternoon sun, bright and shiny, even if it was not truly warm out.

This made me enjoy not being bundled up in three layers trudging through the snow to get a run in. Not that I don't enjoy winter, and some of my runs have been hauntingly beautiful as I ran through a snow fall.

It was just time for a break from it.

Now I bet you are wondering what I noticed besides a nice cool but sunny day?

Well there I was near the end of my run, turning to finally face due East as I ran one of the last legs toward home.

When motion on the ground in front of me caught my eye.

Bringing my eyes downward to figure out what it was.

At first glance I did not notice anything but the top of my shadow. (I did mention the sun being out and right behind me)

Then I saw it.

There was not an object or animal causing the motion.

No it was my shadow itself...

...as my pony tail rhythmically swayed behind my head as I jogged down the street.

I am sure if anyone saw me at that moment I would have had a silly grin on my face.

It is crazy how something so simple can affect ones mood so profoundly.

Amazing that I am at this point in my life today.

Simply enjoying seeing the swish of my ponytail in my shadow on the ground while going for a run.

Howler Monkeys

The natives are restless!

I can't blame them really.

Here they have been working like crazy to write new material and I cannot post any of it...

..for now.

Seriously I have two posts done and a third that was in progress when something happened.

I found out my anonymous blog is not quite so anonymous anymore.

O_O

As it turns out an entity in my life that plays a large role has discovered that I have a blog.

Not to mention all three of these blogs deal with this entity or at least mention it.

Now before everyone panics, nothing happened. I was just asked about it and was informed of a few things.

No harm, no foul as they say.

However...

Those three post that I have in some was deal with this entity or involve information that I do not really want them to know.

Considering I was working on these posts about a month ago. I was ready to clean them up and post them.

Since then I have been wondering what to do.

For now I won't, much to my typewriters monkeys chagrin.

Yeah, to say they are not happy, would be an understatement.

The good news is that while I was pondering what to do about the other post I had some adventure that I need to share. So hopefully I can calm them down by giving them something to do.

Either that or they will start flinging things at me.

Ewww.